I appreciate status updates on Facebook from women who love being married. The photos of them and their husband warms my heart. Anniversary announcements and birthday messages are usually all filled with memories of what makes their love so unique. It’s apparent just how much their spouse matters. Although marriage isn’t always effortless, these women still recognize it’s worth celebrating.
I remember recently seeing an anniversary message on Facebook causing me to raise both eyebrows. It simply said “20 years in”. It took a few comments for everyone to discover it was an anniversary update. I thought, this sounds more like a jail sentence than an anniversary announcement. A husband wrote it and I immediately thought how vast the differences are in how husbands and wives view marriage.
My husband and I recently celebrated our 16th wedding anniversary and I couldn’t wait to compile pictures of us to share with the world. I love being married and I know my husband does too, but how we express it and discuss it with others are different. Because our opinions on love and romance vary, the ideas and feelings that surface from our marriages do as well. Think about the initial moment a couple shares their engagement. Men immediately begin joking about life, as they know it, ending. Whereas women are excited and start to envision their role as a wife and head straight into wedding planning mode. Men and women sometimes have contrasting thoughts on marriage, and it’s okay.
Marriage gives us an opportunity to trust, be vulnerable and give completely of ourselves.
For most women, marriage feels good. It’s our safe haven. In it we expect to feel provided for and protected. We leave our heart in that space and assume it will be well taken care of by our husbands. Many of us planned on being wives and mothers as young girls. When we finally become one, we’re usually all in. Marriage gives us an opportunity to trust, be vulnerable and give completely of ourselves. We desire to give our all, in the bedroom, the kitchen and everywhere in between.
We look forward to satisfying and stimulating our husbands emotionally, mentally and physically. Although we aren’t always tactful in knowing the right things to say and do, believe me, we aren’t happy when our husbands aren’t happy. Marriage also seems to bring out our competitive nature. Some of us get extremely jealous when another woman is sniffing around our territory. Yes, we become quite territorial, our man is our man and we recognize the effort we contributed to making the marriage work.
Occasionally we do feel the pressures that also surface from being in a marriage. It requires effort from us and sacrifices that aren’t always easy to make. There are times when our efforts seem unmatched by our mates and causes us frustration. Yes, women feel overwhelmed in our roles and our “me time” is often necessary.
A large majority of us are also proud of our marriage. We take pride in being able to brag on how well we care for our spouse. Those of us in our Word realize the value of submitting in marriage. We trust our husbands to guide, stand up for us and protect us.
Most women also look forward to sharing in their marriage. Whenever anything special happens, I immediately think of discussing it with my husband. Women enjoy having a confidant who knows us like no other. It is our most treasured friendship. Marriage reminds us that there must have been something special and consistent in our relationship to transport us from dating to marriage and we are usually grateful.
Marriage can be a blessing. It creates a space for us to fully open our hearts and receive all that comes from a healthy love . When it is done correctly, marriage can truly feel amazing.
BMWK wives, what does marriage feel like for you?