From the time we are little girls, we learn that looks matter. The pretty girls are treated differently in school”“by teachers and by boys. And the same continues throughout college and even in the workforce, maybe in our own families. Outward appearance dominates our culture. It can get so bad that we begin to compare ourselves to other women and wonder why men don’t find us as attractive.
But, if you ask any happily married couple who’s been married for at least 10 years, they will tell you that beauty and physical attractiveness mattered when they met, but that’s not why they got married. A man with good sense doesn’t marry a woman just because she looks good, and neither does a woman with good sense marry a man because he’s fine. As a matter of fact, beauty turns ugly when a person’s heart isn’t right. I’m sure some of you have been on dates with people who looked good but when they opened their mouth all sorts of ugliness spewed out. Can you say, “Hell Date”?
So, although there is nothing wrong with looking good for yourself and for others, ladies, we must remember that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). It’s who you are and whose you are that matters most when looking for a mate –not how pretty you are. Instead of focusing on how attractive you are to a man, I want to encourage you to pray about attracting a man who places a high value on a woman’s natural beauty, inside and outside. Believe me, you want a man who not only finds you attractive now but who will find you attractive 20 years from now. You want a man who . . .
- Loves you without any makeup on.
- Compliments your hair and massages your scalp without all the extra stuff you do to it or purchase for it.
- Enjoys your post-pregnancy body.
- Fantasizes about you while you are wearing sweats and a t-shirt.
- Appreciates your dimple, mole, or scar as unique parts of your body.
- Blushes and exclaims “Wow!” as you come down the stairs for date night.
- Holds your hand in public and kisses you in front of his parents.
- Requests that you join him at an event just to be beside him (yes, it’s okay to be his trophy wife for the night.)
There’s nothing more beautiful or attractive than your man crying because you are hurt, praying because you are in need, and holding you just because you are his. Just ask a woman who has endured cancer treatments. When all her hair is gone, when her skin turns dark, when her body looks frail, and when her eyes turn dim. . . a man who still treats his wife like she is the most beautiful woman in the world, that’s a man to be praised. And that’s the type of man you want to be attracted to you.
BMWK family, what do you consider beautiful about a person?