From the time we are little girls, we learn that looks matter. The pretty girls are treated differently in school”“by teachers and by boys. And the same continues throughout college and even in the workforce, maybe in our own families. Outward appearance dominates our culture. It can get so bad that we begin to compare ourselves to other women and wonder why men don’t find us as attractive.
But, if you ask any happily married couple who’s been married for at least 10 years, they will tell you that beauty and physical attractiveness mattered when they met, but that’s not why they got married. A man with good sense doesn’t marry a woman just because she looks good, and neither does a woman with good sense marry a man because he’s fine. As a matter of fact, beauty turns ugly when a person’s heart isn’t right. I’m sure some of you have been on dates with people who looked good but when they opened their mouth all sorts of ugliness spewed out. Can you say, “Hell Date”?
So, although there is nothing wrong with looking good for yourself and for others, ladies, we must remember that “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). It’s who you are and whose you are that matters most when looking for a mate –not how pretty you are. Instead of focusing on how attractive you are to a man, I want to encourage you to pray about attracting a man who places a high value on a woman’s natural beauty, inside and outside. Believe me, you want a man who not only finds you attractive now but who will find you attractive 20 years from now. You want a man who . . .
- Loves you without any makeup on.
- Compliments your hair and massages your scalp without all the extra stuff you do to it or purchase for it.
- Enjoys your post-pregnancy body.
- Fantasizes about you while you are wearing sweats and a t-shirt.
- Appreciates your dimple, mole, or scar as unique parts of your body.
- Blushes and exclaims “Wow!” as you come down the stairs for date night.
- Holds your hand in public and kisses you in front of his parents.
- Requests that you join him at an event just to be beside him (yes, it’s okay to be his trophy wife for the night.)
There’s nothing more beautiful or attractive than your man crying because you are hurt, praying because you are in need, and holding you just because you are his. Just ask a woman who has endured cancer treatments. When all her hair is gone, when her skin turns dark, when her body looks frail, and when her eyes turn dim. . . a man who still treats his wife like she is the most beautiful woman in the world, that’s a man to be praised. And that’s the type of man you want to be attracted to you.
BMWK family, what do you consider beautiful about a person?
Ms. C says
In the good times… bad times… and ugly times…growing older together looking into his eyes still seeing the love, and concern is even bigger than the day when became one. Above all a man that keeps God first in his life…and staying true to the matter of the heart for himself and for me.
Mjonson says
Yes it’s true! Beauty is not important – important inner peace!
Guest says
I always prayed for a man to look at me the way my grandfather did my grandmother. She was 80 plus with a walker and many wrinkles but he would stop and say “look at the woman! She looks just like when I met her! Look at her beautiful eyes!” We we little children looking and at the time we saw our old grandma with her walker. My grandfather always saw the beautiful lady she was.
Theway says
I agree with the
article to a point, but I my issue is there are a lot of articles and advice such
as this, that seem to be targeted at men. We are constantly being told to go beyond the physical,
which I do agree with. As men we are visual creatures and I cant apologies for
that, yet I am not foolish enough to make a decision for a mate based on
physical knowing it fades. It sees today women have the greater issues
with this. Many of which have a false sense
of confidence, hiding behind makeup, fake hair, and sometimes surgeries. I dont
think we are as shallow as we are perceived to be. I read stat after stat and even watched YouTube videos from Alost
40 year old women, with multiple children
still single acting as if they ish dont
stink. They are
so called saved women that kept the same worldly standards that they fallowed
in the world. These women even teach other women not to compromise looks and or
money. To them Jesus is going to send the
man of their dreams, and we wounded why the black church is full of single
women. Weird thing is when I ask the simple question
that should put things back into perspective. I simply ask why would God give a stable
attractive man with all his tees crossed
and eyes doted who has option, a women that brings a premade family, past her prime and
brings emotional and physiological issues and convictions that havent headed,
derived from their past choice in men. I told Im the rude one.
Jaenikol says
I think maybe you missed the point. The article isn’t focusing on men. It’s asking women to look for a man who values them as a whole. Too often our society treats a woman as a body or a sum of sexual parts. A
woman should be looking for someone who is willing to see her with all her imperfections and accept her.
Now for your question, the answer is God works in mysterious ways. Job had to abandon
his wealth and be cursed to receive his reward. Jonah had to be swallowed by a whale. Jesus had to die on the stake. God calls people to make sacrifice in His name w
Jaenikol says
(Phone cut me off) …in the name of faith. So, He who knows the heart and the kidneys and your every inner working might very well call a man who seems from an earthly point of view to be with a woman who has baggage and a premade family. He may see something in her spirit to make that man a better servant of His. I’m just saying
Lewisalexander70 says
Now what if your wife physically abuses you?
Ms. says
Great article, I especially like the part, “Compliments your hair and massages your scalp without all the extra stuff you do to it or purchase for it.” My beau can massage my natural hair anytime LOL
SOUL1BNS says
Peace. Those who focus on the outer beauty at the expense of the inner are of the shallowest lot. Outer beauty, as this small piece emphasized, is fleeting; inner beauty lasts forever.
SOUL1BNS
Sweet.Lena says
I had to give a throatily “mmm” on this statement: “Theres nothing more beautiful or attractive than your man crying because you are hurt.”
The praying and holding are a given expectation (for me), but the being
emotionally connected and humble enough to empathize with my pain AND
show it…that hit’s a cord. What a man does after he realizes he can’t
“fix it”explores a deeper level of character and personality.
Definitely food for thought! So I’ll chew on that for a while.
Sweet.Lena says
And by “show it” I meant “express it”. Because they’re not one in the same.
Evolme4412 says
Wow your articles are constantly better than the last. I am not married yet, but when that time comes thats the man I want marry. I’m speechless. I love this website!!! So positive
LaWanda says
I love this article and thank God for my husband
Curtis Lewis says
My wife is the most beautiful thing in the world to me. You see, 2 yrs ago, she was in a hit and run. The driver was going approximately 50 miles an hr and hit her as she was crossing the street. She died 3 times on way to hospital suffering 2 collapsed lungs, multiple fractures to left leg requiring 4 rods, 6 screws, and a cracked pelvis which now has plates front and back. Alot of physically scarring and mental anguish being told she may never walk unassisted again. But God said satan gets no victory! Today she is alive, well, no canes, no Walker, no crutches and an awesome wife and mother! God gets all the praise and Tanya, i love u baby, inside outside ALL SIDES!