Love is tricky and while sometimes it may feel as though we have a good handle on it, unfortunately, oftentimes, we don’t.
One of the hardest things for most couples to do is recognize that the healing needed in their marriage is something they can’t do alone. This is obvious and also the reason there are so many relationship resources and professionals.
Relationship challenges have been happening since the beginning of time and will continue if we don’t pay attention to the signs and take action. If you’re not quite sure about the signs, here are 5 that indicate your marriage might benefit from some professional help.
There is no communication of substance
If the only thing you discuss is who will pick up the children and very little is said about your relationship, that might be the sign of something a little more serious.
Healthy relationships involve discussion, often.
Not talking about the problems in your marriage will create more problems. If neither partner feels comfortable bringing up certain subjects, it might be time to call a professional who knows relationships and is skilled at getting to the root of any issue.
Forgiveness is missing
If neither partner can move past their hurt and is unable to see their partner’s point of view, it’s another telltale sign of a bigger issue. A mediator is a perfect option for a couple who doesn’t quite know how to move forward on his or her own.
Related: Read this if you’re unsure about what forgiveness really is.
Sometimes the disappointment or heartbreak is so strong, it’s hard to see a way out. A professional will ask those tough questions to help you rethink your unforgiveness. What most people don’t realize is that certain marriages can survive anything if both couples are willing to make it work.
Acceptance of the mediocre is apparent
When a couple has accepted the unhappiness in their marriage as the norm, it is a must that they reach out for help. Whether or not the marriage ends should matter. It won’t survive if the couple isn’t proactive. You and your partner deserve happiness.
There is a physical attraction to someone other than the spouse
Harmless flirting is never actually harmless. It leads somewhere. And most adults know this to be true. Knowing there are consequences to our actions, why would we knowingly tempt ourselves in these situations. Finding ourselves open or considering the idea of being with someone else is a huge red flag.
Related: Think flirting is no big deal? Here are 5 reasons why harmless flirting isn’t so harmless.
It could be feelings of loneliness and disappointment that lead us to the arms of another. If we don’t discuss it and choose to act on it instead, we will find ourselves single again. Utilizing resources that have been known to help other couples in similar situations can only help heal your marriage as well.
Fighting is now part of the routine
When you get used to being nasty and snappy with your spouse and getting the same in return, please know this isn’t normal in marriage. Yes, marriage has it’s share of challenges, but not knowing how to disagree peacefully shouldn’t be one of them.
There are books, movies and relationship coaches who specialize in the proper handling of conflict. It makes sense to use them.
All of the above may be your current situation. There isn’t anything to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. Life happens and, occasionally, it is challenging. It’s how you react to the obstacles that will determine the future of your marriage.
BMWK, what are some other undeniable reasons you should seek professional assistance for your marriage?