I spent last year adjusting to life as a work-at-home mom and I realize now that much of the stress was because I was trying to do two jobs simultaneously: parenting my kids to the best of my abilities and meeting all my clients needs at the drop of a hat.
I could have used some babysitting help but was too stubborn to admit it. Besides helping me out with my workload, having a regular babysitter would enable me and my husband to have some regular date nights where we actually get out of the house and enjoy some much needed quiet time away from the kids.
But I still resist hiring one. Here’s the reasons, er, excuses why:
1. I don’t really trust anyone with my kids. You hear so much about teachers abusing kids or coaches taking showers with the kids and it all makes you paranoid. I’d like to think I’m a good judge of character and I could stop anything at the first sign of abuse, but to me, that’s too late. I don’t even want the “warning signs” around my kids.
2. I always think to myself, “Do I really need the help?” Of course, the answer is yes (more help than you need is always better than less help than you need). But somehow, some way, I convince myself that my current system is fine, I have a husband, I can manage, our dates nights at home with Redbox aren’t that bad”...and then seven different major events happen on the same day and I find myself cursing the fact that I don’t have someone I can call.
3. I don’t really trust anyone around my husband. This one is so sad. Really? Like, am I that insecure that I won’t allow a relatively young woman come in, watch my kids and alleviate some of the load on my shoulders if that means she has to interact with my husband? It’s not that I think my husband is a babysitter magnet and they won’t be able to resist (he is pretty hot, though). It’s just”...I’m a woman and as the woman of the house”...I don’t know. Let’s come back to this one.
4. I don’t want to spend the money. I’ve searched the profiles on Sittercity or Care.com I don’t know how many times. The ones that I really like (tons of experience and glowing references, proficient in CPR and first aid, nursing or education students) always have the highest rates, which is understandable. They know they are in demand and that’s great. But I find it hard to add another expense to the budget.
5. My kids have a lot of”...quirks. And needs. And I guess the right babysitter can handle all that, but I guess deep down I like being the only person who knows how to warm up my daughter’s homemade eczema oil and how to rub it into the trouble spots (see also #1). I know my kids are high maintenance (they.need.attention.all.day.long) and I’d hate to have someone lose their patience with them. (Never mind that I do lose mine all the time.)
6. I honestly can’t decide if I want an older or a younger babysitter for my kids. I lean toward an older woman, because in my stereotypical mind she’d be the warm, grandmotherly type (I know my mom ain’t having that). Then I figure a younger childless woman would be cool because she’d have a lot of energy. But then I’d think, “We’re practically the same age. What does she really know about kids?”
My excuses are plentiful as you can see. So let’s talk, BMWK family. How many of you have a regular babysitter?