All shopping addicts or impulsive folks can relate to the following dilemma. You’re walking into your favorite department store (we won’t single out just one) and you look for the items that you need and successfully approach the aisles for payment. Then, out of nowhere, something catches your eye at the end cap and it’s something that you’re thinking about putting in the basket too. Just as a reminder: you didn’t come here for this, and now you’ve left the store with way more than you intended to pick up. Sounds familiar?
You may think that there’s nothing wrong with a little indulgence every now and then. I agree, because I love my little temptations from TV to candy treats. But what happens when we give in to them every time? As believers we are not out here to please our flesh daily, but to please God. Shopping is a metaphor that I’d like to use for explaining waiting and being tempted in dating and relationships. You and I are all given a purpose, drive, mission, destiny from God. We walk this world in search of fulfilling it, and in the process, may run into people who may be attractive to us. We like the way they present themselves, their availability, their approachability. We can’t help but think of what it would be like to partner up and date this person.
But hey, wait a minute, what were you doing in the first place? Going towards your goal and mission. That person may be a distraction towards your goal. The keyword is maybe, since some of us will meet our mates while still on our journey because they were sent to add to us. If the person you are seeing is making a contribution to your journey and understands their place in your life, then that’s a good thing. If they demand all of your free time and don’t try to support or understand what you’re going after, then they are most likely a distraction and will hold you back in the long run. Here are a few things to consider when you need to stop and think about your purchase, or in this case, your date:
Think about your budget.
How much time do you have? Can you afford to date someone right now? What are your priorities and where will this person fit on the list? We are an impulsive generation in which we want what we want when we want it. We may be impatient with others, including God. So when we see someone who may be someone we’d like to get to know, we don’t stop and think about our initial budget. If you simply can’t afford the time then don’t feel bad. It’s better to stay true to your priorities and in the end you will be happier.
Stay focused, not distracted.
Those moments of distraction and temptation come when God is testing you to see where your promises and priorities are. Have you ever told God in prayer to have His way and then shortly after that went after something that was your way? Perhaps God’s way for you in this season or another is to focus solely on Him and not deviate to the left or the right. Hebrews 2:1 MSG says: “It’s crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we’ve heard so that we don’t drift off.” Be obedient and stay true to your goal and the mission.
Consider the consequences.
I was at the register one time with an impulse buy and a priority; I realized that I needed to make a sacrifice and just get what I came to the store for. I sacrificed loosing out on a really nice bag that I would have. If I had chosen that bag for myself, I would be lacking in other areas of my life. I would not have enough funds for food, transportation, or other costs that come up in the week, because other costs do come up. That bag was not going to pay my bills, and I didn’t want to have buyers remorse or resentment towards my once-regarded treasure. That feeling mixed with someone you’re not ready to date or get serious with can be detrimental to everyone involved.
We have free will, but we do fall for marketing gimmicks and emotionalism all the time, so sincerely stop and think about the costs and consequences before you go forward with someone. These same feelings can happen if we jump into a relationship too quickly and at the wrong time for us. Don’t jump into a relationship or into dating if that’s not what God needs you to do at the moment. So if right now is not the right time for you, that’s just fine. Another opportunity will come, with someone better.
BMWK family, have you ever dating on impulse? How did it work out for you?