We all have a few habits that we could do without. For some of us those bad habits have been with us for years, while for others they developed after marriage or after some other major life event. When it happened doesn’t really matter much now. What matters is whether or not you are doing anything about it.
Although having one or two bad habits doesn’t mean your marriage is in major trouble, some habits undoubtedly cause a lot more harm than others—especially when we’ve committed to spending our lives with another person who’s impacted by everything we do.
So how do we know if our habits are causing serious harm or if it’s not that bad and we have some time before we address it?
Typically, most of us just know. Sure, we can act like we think the habit is harmless, but if we kept it real, we would see countless signs that our seemingly harmless habit is not only destroying us on a personal level, but unless we do something soon, it’s also causing possibly irreparable damage to our marriage.
Here are 5 habits that may seem harmless that turn into major issues overtime.
Emotional Eating.
I am no stranger to the idea of eating to manage stress. Admittedly, my marriage has nothing to do with it. I walked into my marriage with that bad habit. However, I realize that being married can come with many unexpected stressors and several emotional ups and downs.
If you use food as a way to manage your emotions—good or bad—you will soon realize that your innocent habit is now becoming a health issue. With such high instances of stroke, hypertension, and a number of other cardiovascular issues in our community, we have to mindful of what we eat and how much of it we eat.
If we don’t we can end up overweight, unhealthy and potentially depressed—all things that will make our marriages suffer.
Drinking to Manage Stress.
This habit often creeps up on people and becomes an addiction before they even realize it. It can start off as a glass of wine or a bottle of beer after a long day of work, but then the number of servings turns into two or three.
Before we are able to get a hold on things we find ourselves drinking whenever we feel stressed and our Monday through Friday evening habit becomes a daily addiction that begins to affect our behavior.
When drinking to manage stress starts to feel necessary instead of one of many other options, you have a problem on your hands that can truly damage your health and your marriage.
Talking to Your Friends About Your Marital Problems.
Although the impulse to tell your friends all about how your spouse played him or herself may seem pretty innocent, it can pose a problem. When you have issues with your spouse, your best bet is addressing those issues with them directly.
If you refuse to do that and decide that complaining about them feels like a better option, you will never resolve the real issue. Furthermore, you have now demonized the love of your life to the other people in your life who love you and want to protect you. No good can come from that.
Mismanaging Money.
- Are you shopping and hiding it from your spouse?
- Have you racked up a bunch of credit card debt he or she doesn’t know about?
- Are you making financial decisions without talking things through?
All of these things can lead to big trouble and can start to chip away at your marriage over time. Money is a touchy subject for so many people and managing it is something that many couples struggle with. You may think a little dept or hiding a few pairs or shoes is no biggie, but you are mistaken. It can become a major issue.
Burying Yourself in Work.
Whether you’re an entrepreneur or you work for someone else, when you begin to dedicate every ounce of energy you have on the work you do, leaving just the scraps for your spouse, you are headed for trouble.
Sure, you may have noble intentions, but you really can’t put your work before your spouse. You have to find a way to pursue the work that you do while still making your marriage a priority.
BMWK family, what other habits do you think destroy marriages?