This week I crossed my one-year anniversary as a writer for BMWK. My first post, 7 Things I Want in My Marriage That My Parents Have After 48 Years, was published on July 24 last year. It immediately went viral, and ended up on basically every marriage site and social network on the planet! Well, not exactly…
Truthfully the post did pretty well, and based on the comments it encouraged and inspired many marriages. But what that post started for me is worth more than a viral blog post to a writer.
A pleasant surprise
When I agreed to write for BMWK I hoped my stories would help the marriages and families of the BMWK readers, but I didn’t expect my involvement to help my marriage and family just the same. Yet, it has, and maybe even more than anyone else.
Here are just a few of the ways my marriage has grown since I became a BMWK writer:
- Learning from real marriages with real issues just like mine. I’ve said in a past post, I am one of the writers on the site, but I am a reader first. Our marriage has been through a lot, but ours is not the only one. BMWK writers keep it 100! Reading some of the stories, advice, and examples of marriages who have made it inspires me daily to make our marriage the best it can be.
- Making me take a real long look in the mirror. If I am writing about marriage, my marriage better be on point! Unfortunately it is not always that way. So, when I write something or read another writer’s story, I am forced to honestly look at myself. Am I doing the thing I am suggesting to you do to help your marriage? If not, I have a choice. And that choice always brings growth, even when it is hard or hurts.
- Becoming a student of marriage. Our marriage is going through serious work right now. In the past 45-60 days my wife and I have attended a weekend marriage retreat, a 3-week marriage conference, met with our marriage mentors monthly, started “unofficial” counseling, and are currently fellowshipping with a small group of couples to teach what we are learning to other couples locally. All in the name of making our relationship the best it can possibly be. Knowing in order for us to pour into your marriages, we need to make sure our marriage is being poured into. Our growth from this alone has been ridiculous!
- Building relationships with other couples who are growing. Like I said in bullet #1 there are some amazing stories being shared. But the writers, and marriages behind those stories are even more amazing. I check out the other writer’s blogs, their Twitter and Facebook pages and always find something helpful to me as a parent and husband. Being connected with other couples who desire to help their marriage and others get better helps me. One of my favorite quotes is, “the person you become in five years will be directly impacted by who you hang out with today and the books your read.” I am in good company.
- Seeing a real need and doing my best to fill that need. As I read comments, and receive feedback I realize there are some marriages doing great. But there are also marriages that need real help. Knowing what I am doing is filling this need for many people, encourages me to not neglect my marriage. Lamar Tyler says all the time one of the best pieces of marriage advice he received was, “don’t lose your marriage trying to save everyone else’s.” This makes me work harder, sacrifice more, and love harder in my marriage than I ever have.
I love writing for BMWK. I love helping your marriage grow. I love representing a positive image of marriage and family. My first year as a BMWK writer hasn’t yet produced the viral post I mentioned earlier, but it is spreading hope, growth, and encouragement to marriages everywhere, including mine.
BMWK – How has your marriage been impacted since you discovered BMWK?