It just happened. We didn’t mean to fall in love with each other. One thing led to another and before I knew it, we were in bed together. I tried to stop the phone calls and text messages, but I couldn’t. It really was innocent. We started off as friends. It’s not like I intended to cheat on you. It just happened.
I know every marriage is different, and you might have a difference of opinion about this. But here is my take on it: affairs don’t “just happen.” I slipped and fell in love with someone else seems a little far-fetched to me. Am I supposed to believe that emotional and sexual relationships outside of marriage “just happen”? Is it that easy to break your marriage vows and to turn back on the covenant you made before God? I don’t think so.
In life there are things that “just happen” outside of your control: car accidents, spilled milk, sprained ankles, and other flukes. I don’t think affairs fall into this category. “Oops” or “We got caught up” are not valid excuses. Furthermore, I believe it insults a spouse’s intelligence when one person says, “Oh, it just happened.” If you were bold enough to step outside of the marriage, the least you can be is bold enough to take responsibility for your actions. When you should have been talking with your spouse, you were talking to someone else. When you should have been kissing and caressing your life partner, you were lusting after someone else. When you should have been home playing with the kids, you were playing house in a hotel room. All of these actions don’t just happen; they are planned and executed with the hopes of not getting caught.
If you “just happen” to have sex with someone, then why not make it your spouse? Spontaneous lovemaking that occurs without planning keeps the marriage exciting. It can “just happen” on your lunch break or early in the morning before work. It can “just happen” after you had an argument or when you think you are too tired to even cuddle. That’s the beauty of being in a God-ordained relationship opposed to being in an illicit affair. You can let whatever happens happen without feeling guilty or breaking the marriage covenant.
Affairs don’t “just happen,” but passionate lovemaking between a husband and wife can and should, which is the only time it’s okay to say, “Oops, (wink, wink) it just happened!”
Do you believe affairs “just happen”? Have you and your spouse ever talked about the why’s and how’s of affairs?