Dr. Buckingham,
I recently met this single guy who told me that I was very attractive, intelligent and down-to-earth. During our conversation he told me that he wanted to get to know me better. Before I could respond, he ran off a list of the different kinds of women that he does not like to interact with or date. He talked about independent women, desperate women, high-maintenance, deceptive women, damaged women and 
Dear Erica,
In conducting interviews with and providing counseling to thousands of singles over the past 16 years, I have learned that men, especially single men, place women in categories because it helps them make sense out of your behavior.
No man can deny the power of a woman. As a woman, you have the ability to influence men in many ways and everything that you do significantly impacts us in one way or another. Everything you do, matters to us. We might not tell you, but believe me, your actions have power. Therefore, categories help single men define and clarify rules of engagement.
For example, if a single man perceives that you are a jump-off based on your overt sexual behavior, he will go out of his way to hang-out with you and to have casual sex, but will never think about commitment. However, if a single man perceives you to be a queen based on overt displays of self-respect, he will treat you with dignity and honor and consider commitment.
Men are very logical creatures and often process objectively when it comes to making decisions about love and relationships. By developing a list of characteristics and/or behaviors that we like and do not like, we are better equipped to make informed decisions about the kind of women that we want to interact with and possibly date.
One very important thing to be mindful of is that it is very easy for men to place women in and out of various categories. A man might view you one way in the beginning and change his mind later. This is why it is important not to worry a great deal about categories and labels. Remember that you determine your category, not men. Your behavior is the most influential factor that determines which category that a man places you in—you are the X-Factor.
Read more about the categories that men place women in my book, Qualified, yet Single: Why Good Men Remain Single
Best regards, Dr. Buckingham
If you have questions for Dr. Dwayne Buckingham regarding relationships (married, single, etc), parenting, or personal growth and development, please send an email to askdrbuckingham@gmail.com
Disclaimer: The ideas, opinions and recommendations contained in this post are not intended as a substitute for seeking professional counseling or guidance. Any concerns or questions that you have about relationships or any other source of potential distress should be discussed with a professional, in person. The author is not liable or responsible for any personal or relational distress, loss or damage allegedly arising from any information or recommendations in this post.