by Michelby “Coco” Whitehead
When people begin dating, the possibilities, both good and bad, are endless. The early stages are usually pure bliss, and often times women struggle with figuring out what role to play and end up doing way too much, as if they were wives and not girlfriends. The female who thinks she is showing her appreciation by “being loyal” or “down” simply finds herself emotionally bankrupt and frustrated.
Needless to say, she ends up planning everyone else’s wedding except hers. Like the old saying goes: Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free!
Ladies, here are 16 ways to show you care without selling yourself short.
- Love him in a manner that God would.
- Value his opinions. You don’t have to agree with him, but at least hear him out.
- Actively listen when he wants to talk. Technology is a beast, so you can pause Real Housewives of Atlanta for a few minutes.
- When he confides in you about his past, don’t judge him. No one’s past is that pretty.
- If he has children, encourage him to be a good father.
- Encourage him to pursue his dreams.
- Inspire him to be spiritual by praying with him.
- Allow him personal space to grow as a man. You can’t teach him EVERYTHING.
- Allow him to say “dumb stuff” without immediate ridicule. How is he supposed to know Iman is from Somalia and not South Africa?
- See him for who he is and not for what you want him to be.
- Teach him to be financially responsible… And that doesn’t mean paying his bills with your money!
- Take genuine interest in what he likes without being told to do so.
- Expand his horizons by introducing him to new food, music, and places to shop.
- Remind him that black male role models are priceless and that his presence does make a difference in our world.
- Set limits and boundaries on things that you feel are not good for his health.
- Speak to him in a tone that you would have him speak to you. No one wants to be belittled.
BMWK – what can you add to this list? How can you show you care without losing yourself while dating? What are some examples of “doing too much” while dating?
Michelby “Coco” Whitehead – A writer since childhood, Michelby is the associate editor for the Hustlapreneur section of Yandy Smith’s Everything Girls Love. She is also a freelance publicist and a producer for “Let’s Talk About Hair” on Pure Radio in Jacksonville, FL. When she is not working in media, the chocolate girl-wonder enjoys concerts, church, spending time with family and friends, and just doing absolutely nothing! Follow her on Twitter @_CocoQueen.