Yes, petty thoughts, actions and ideas can ruin a marriage. It may not always seem like a big deal while we’re going through it, but over time the smallest things can actually cause the biggest challenges. Marriage requires everyday effort and we have to do our part by controlling our mouth, doing what leads to peace and eliminating that which does not. There are certain ideas we can not allow to creep into our relationship. One of those involves the amount of B.S. that shows up. B.S., which stands for Blind-Sightedness, can surface in a few different ways.
One being the ability to close our eyes to the personal mess we bring and only point out that of our partner. We aren’t perfect and shouldn’t even pretend to be. We are human just like our partner. We make mistakes, exhibit attitudes, let our pride get in the way and sometimes act like children, just like other humans. The best relationships involve two people who are willing to take ownership of what they bring that causes relationship destruction and do the opposite.
Another way is when we fail to see that problems even exist in the relationship which, if neglected too long, begins to eat away at the foundation of any healthy partnership. When we put our blinders on to the facts of the relationship, especially the things become even worse. We have too many resources and professionals who have devoted their life’s purpose to making sure more healthy relationships exist. There really isn’t any excuse for not getting the help we need to improve our marriages. But before we seek that help, we have to acknowledge, within that partnership, things could be better.
Lastly, being blind-sighted to when we have a relationship worth saving. Some take for granted they have a marriage worth fighting for. Yes, things won’t always be perfect, but if it is a relationship of significance, allow those good areas to spill over into the rest of the marriage. Too many of us are blinded by what’s wrong in the relationship that we miss all the great things that are happening. Which can create the blueprint for our marriage success.
Losing sight of the vision we had for our marriage is also problematic. When we’re thrown off course, we sometimes forget, we can get right back on track. Keeping our eyes focused on the ultimate goal in our relationship will remind us of all the little things we need to do to maintain our marriage.
I love the popular quote “to be aware is to be alive”. It is a general term, but it definitely applies to our committed relationships. We must keep our eyes open, stay focused on the plans for our marriage and be ready and willing to take action when problems arise. Our ultimate goal should be to eliminate the B.S.
BMWK, is there B.S. happening in your relationship?