God challenged me recently. One evening a male friend and I talked about being single, and he said to me that he was concerned that I would still be single at 35. (I’m 29 now, so was he able to see that far in the future, huh?)
The first thing I thought was: what is wrong with being single at 35 and why was I initially so defensive about it? Secondly, what would cause someone to say something in that context to a friend—a fellow single, waiting on God for her future spouse? Thirdly, there is usually a more telling reason why people say certain things to you. So what was he really thinking about me?
It wasn’t prophetic, but words can carry weight. If I were a weak minded, low self-esteem having person like I used to be, then I would have believed that for my life. Fourth, God’s word is truer than anything anyone else in this world can ever say to you. The key is that you have to believe what God has said concerning you.
So initially I was defensive, brushing off the comment like they were cooties trying to attach themselves to me. I mean I know I’m not ready to be married—just yet—but I refuse to believe that I’ll be single in my mid-30s because someone else said so. I’m trusting the Lord.
My friend was not the only one to have said something like this. My mother has shared her concerns about me being “older and single,” as if God forgot about me. People have zero chill around us singles, and it’s crazy because most of the people who make these comments are not necessarily happy in their current situation anyway.
I had to look past the so-called “concern,” which came off more as a dig at my selectivity, desire to wait and faith.
I won’t be frantic and panicked, crying out to God to push up my marriage timetable before 35. I’ll be honest. It would be great to be married before then, but I pray for God’s Divine will: His way for my life over my own.
Permissive will is taking what I can get at a deadline I created due to lacking the faith and trust in God’s will. But I know better now and want you to know better too. Friends and family may mean well or they may even just be mean, but you have to be steadfast and unchanging in your faith. This is the resistance that exercises your faith muscles. The words may even echo in your mind and convince you that what they said is your reality, but it doesn’t have to be. What God said is what will stand and what will happen.
Don’t you want to give God the glory out of your life? One of the best things to do is to keep calm and tell the truth. Don’t let them see you sweat, but take it to God in prayer and forgive them if it truly hurt your feelings. Pray for them and move on with your life knowing that if they continue like this then you will have to reexamine this person in your life.
God wins. And if you are a child of God, then you’re a winner too, no matter what age God wills it for you to marry. I look forward to sharing more of my journey to age 30 for single ladies who are approaching this age without a love prospect in sight. You will be just fine, God’s got you!
Hey BMWK fam, has anyone given you doubt about being single at your age? How did you respond?