My daughter’s in a small Christian school for kindergarten this year. She’s learning all about creation and God’s grace and beauty in all things. She’s taken to the lessons in a big way and it makes me kind of bummed that I haven’t been doing this all along. We say prayer before meals and I teach her about being grateful and thankful and appreciative for all our blessings. But we don’t talk about Jesus every day and she only recently understood that our pastor is not God. (Which was a pretty fun conversation to have.)
But in truth, I’m still wrestling with my faith. I had some issues during my teen years that truly made me feel like there were only one set of footprints at times. I still struggle with my views on Jesus and God and heaven and hell. Of course I believe in God, but when it comes time to explain to my daughter what I believe and why I believe it and how strongly do I believe it, I realize my faith is a work in progress.
I am Christian and I do believe in God and I pray almost every day. But is that it? I don’t know. I feel like I’m growing into my spirituality and right now it’s a couple sizes too big. But having kids, in my face, asking me questions, is helping me sort it all out in a way that might not have happened otherwise.
For example, my daughter came home and talked about the creation story. Seven days, God created the earth. In her five-year-old mind, she wanted to know where God went. “Mommy, where did God go after he created all the people?”
“He didn’t go anywhere,” I said. “He just”...stayed where he was.”
“So where is he?”
“He’s here”...he’s all around us.”
She looked puzzled. “But I don’t see him.”
“I don’t see him either. You don’t see him. You feel him.”
She looked down as if God was touching her arm. “But”...”
“I know, sweetie. Sometimes it’s kind of confusing. But just know that he loves you. And is always looking out for you.”
My response seemed to comfort her and I think she’s starting to internalize some of our discussions. She came up to me a couple days ago and told me that she knew someone who loved her more than I did.
“And who is that?” I asked.
“Jesus!” she said with a smile. And that made me smile. Because I may not have all the answers about religion and my spirituality, I know I’m getting there one blog post, one day, one question from my kids at a time.
Tell me ““ did having kids change your view on religion? What are you teaching them in terms of spirituality and faith?