Recently, President Obama has been in the hot seat for comments that he made about California Attorney General, Kalama Harris. On last Thursday, during a Democratic National Committee fundraising lunch in Atherton, Calif., he said:
“She’s brilliant and she’s dedicated, she’s tough,” Obama said of the California attorney general. “She also happens to be, by far, the best-looking attorney general … It’s true! C’mon.”
He was heavily criticized for those comments, with many people calling them sexist, offensive and inappropriate. Since then, the President called Harris to apologize: “He called her to apologize for the distraction created by his comments,” and “apologized for the remark.”
Lamar and I had an interesting conversation about the President’s comments. First, Lamar told me to take my Obama blinders off…because he says in my eyes the President can do no wrong. And he was right, at first I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was like …he did not mean anything by it. But Lamar made a good point that it was not professional. And that type of behavior is not acceptable in the workplace.
But of course, we then transitioned to if this compliment was appropriate coming from a married man. And how did Michelle feel about his compliment of the Attorney General? Of course we don’t know how she felt, because every marriage is different and what works for one may not work for others. So we started to discuss our own marriage.
And besides the fact that I know for sure that Lamar thinks Beyonce is gorgeous and that once while we were dating he admitted that Patti Labelle could “get it”, I have never heard my husband comment on the looks of another woman. Of course, if I bring it up and open the door to talk about another woman’s looks…he will say something like…”you think so…hmmm?” (By the way, he says he was just joking about Patti Labelle…but I have my eye on him around older ladies…lol.)
He is a man, and I know that he thinks other women are attractive. But, he makes sure that I know that he thinks I am attractive to him. And while I do not require it, I definitely appreciate it. I don’t have expensive weaves, a personal stylist, trainer or makeup artist…..and yet my husband lets me know each day that I am beautiful.
There is a fine line between complimenting a person of the opposite sex and being disrespectful to your mate. And I can appreciate the fact that my husband is very intentional about not crossing that line. And I do the same for him. However, there was this one incident when Idris Elba was half dressed in the movie Takers. And Lamar says that when he came on the screen, I made this loud noise. I claim that I did not…but perhaps I did..lol. We had a good laugh about it and he brings it up whenever he can. So as you can see, we don’t have this hard and fast rule that you absolutely should not think that someone of the opposite sex is attractive. But, I like that we are very respectful of each other.
BMWK family – what do you think about President Obama’s comment? Was it inappropriate? Was his apology necessary? Did he owe Michelle an apology? Do you think it is appropriate for your spouse to compliment the opposite sex?