Recently, President Obama has been in the hot seat for comments that he made about California Attorney General, Kalama Harris. On last Thursday, during a Democratic National Committee fundraising lunch in Atherton, Calif., he said:
“She’s brilliant and she’s dedicated, she’s tough,” Obama said of the California attorney general. “She also happens to be, by far, the best-looking attorney general … It’s true! C’mon.”
He was heavily criticized for those comments, with many people calling them sexist, offensive and inappropriate. Since then, the President called Harris to apologize: “He called her to apologize for the distraction created by his comments,” and “apologized for the remark.”
Lamar and I had an interesting conversation about the President’s comments. First, Lamar told me to take my Obama blinders off…because he says in my eyes the President can do no wrong. And he was right, at first I was going to give him the benefit of the doubt. I was like …he did not mean anything by it. But Lamar made a good point that it was not professional. And that type of behavior is not acceptable in the workplace.
But of course, we then transitioned to if this compliment was appropriate coming from a married man. And how did Michelle feel about his compliment of the Attorney General? Of course we don’t know how she felt, because every marriage is different and what works for one may not work for others. So we started to discuss our own marriage.
And besides the fact that I know for sure that Lamar thinks Beyonce is gorgeous and that once while we were dating he admitted that Patti Labelle could “get it”, I have never heard my husband comment on the looks of another woman. Of course, if I bring it up and open the door to talk about another woman’s looks…he will say something like…”you think so…hmmm?” (By the way, he says he was just joking about Patti Labelle…but I have my eye on him around older ladies…lol.)
He is a man, and I know that he thinks other women are attractive. But, he makes sure that I know that he thinks I am attractive to him. And while I do not require it, I definitely appreciate it. I don’t have expensive weaves, a personal stylist, trainer or makeup artist…..and yet my husband lets me know each day that I am beautiful.
There is a fine line between complimenting a person of the opposite sex and being disrespectful to your mate. And I can appreciate the fact that my husband is very intentional about not crossing that line. And I do the same for him. However, there was this one incident when Idris Elba was half dressed in the movie Takers. And Lamar says that when he came on the screen, I made this loud noise. I claim that I did not…but perhaps I did..lol. We had a good laugh about it and he brings it up whenever he can. So as you can see, we don’t have this hard and fast rule that you absolutely should not think that someone of the opposite sex is attractive. But, I like that we are very respectful of each other.
BMWK family – what do you think about President Obama’s comment? Was it inappropriate? Was his apology necessary? Did he owe Michelle an apology? Do you think it is appropriate for your spouse to compliment the opposite sex?
I do think that Pres. Obama didn’t mean anything by it but because of the position that he is in….he has to watch what he says and how he says it. I do not have a problem with a compliment about the other sex from my spouse. I know he has eyes as well as I have eyes. As long as there is trust, and no action on the compliment, I don’t see a problem with it. Some might agree with me and some may not…but again it depends on your marriage and what you will or won’t do. He was right to apologize to her and if Michelle doesn’t have a problem with it, then no apology is necessary to her. But with his High position, he should do it just to make amends.
Do any of your remember Attorney General Janet Reno?
– Nuff Said, lol!
But seriously, I just think Obama was giving Mrs. Harris props for being an intelligent AND beautiful black woman…as a result, a low-key compliment to Mrs. Obama, and all the other sistahs out there whose looks compliment their brains as well.
Yeah, as the POTUS, he probably could’ve held that remark for a more informal setting, but isn’t that how women want to be viewed as intelligent and beautiful?
That’s what you strive for, so I don’t see anything wrong with a man (married or not) [respectfully…in every sense of the word] identifiying you as such.
…but overall, I REALLY think Obama was low-key crackin’ jokes on Attorney Generals of past.
“Google that ish”
I been holding that name on my tongue for a couple of days! I couldn’t say that. *Jealous of you* LOL
I never have on Obama blinders… I yet I still don’t see the inappropriateness of his comment. He merely gave a woman a compliment. Where is the harm in that? Was she offended? He didn’t say she was hot, or that she was attractive to him and she could “get it”, he was merely thinking she was nice looking woman and intelligent. He is the president, he is a man, he is married, but he is not blind. He clearly loves and respects Michelle, and unless Michelle or the Att. Gen. were offended, then I think he was not in error. My husband sometimes tells my sister she looks nice, or her hair is pretty… but I never, for one second, feel violated. He has eyes! My sister does always look nice. But when he thinks I look nice (no matter how crazy I look) he says so and his lustful actions prove so. I guess it all comes down to your security in the marriage. If my husband never thought any other woman looked nice, then I would be concerned. I wouldn’t believe him or trust him.
Just because you’re on a diet doesn’t mean you can’t look at the menu!
I felt some kinda way about the comment. Even though it wasn’t a big deal, I don’t really think it was necessary for him to say. It could almost be looked at as flirting. I wonder if Michelle was sitting there when he said it…akward! As far as my husband making comments about other women, I could care less! He told me that Michelle Obama, Oprah and Pam Grier could all get it and I thought it was funny! In private it’s funny, but I think the saying it in public was what threw me off with Obama.
I agree, and I feel like if a regular guy said that about another woman in public and was married, say the CEO of a company or something like that, his comment would be considered sexist. I do think that the Obama blinders are clouding some folks perspective. Let Bush have said this, and some of ya’ll would be tearin’ his tail up!!
Pulled this from the innanets:
At a speech last March, Obama pointed out his secretary of the Interior, Ken Salazar, by calling him “a good-looking guy.” (https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2012/03/21/remarks-president-energy)
A couple of months ago, Obama gave a shout-out to the “outstanding Secretary of the Navy,” Ray Mabus. “There he is right there — the good-looking guy over at the end.” (https://www.whitehouse.gov/the-press-office/2013/02/26/remarks-president-impact-sequester-newport-news-va)
So why we mad, again?
I don’t think anyone is losing sleep over this, just wondering why he felt the need to say it in public. And, in response to your comments above, don’t you find it interesting that Obama keeps saying stuff like this. Just interesting to me??
I saw that too..apparently, he compliments people on their looks a lot. But as a woman…comments like that are always something you have to look out for. It starts with an innocent enough comment and then it eventually becomes harassment.
Thats because you love Satan thats who is telling you this. Lucifer told the U.S. government in 1976 to make one of their biggest mistakes to erroneosly confuse a trivial,inoffensive compliment with an actual insult like fat. When someone says your breasts are beautiful that does not give you the right to overreact to it. Sexual hassling is a doctrine of demons. And everyone who overreacts and imagines evil against men and their compliments will burn in hell with Lucifer and his fallen angels. The Devil wanted compliments to become a crime. Ronnie Tyler you leave something to be desired as most women on this internet do including that pathetic excuse for a woman called Miri socalled funruiner. Something to “look” out for? You my lady are listening to the devil. Apologize for calling compliments hassling and repent in Jesus name.
fdMRfm nututsiwmqsb
Why should this even be a question of right and wrong? Obama doing this is disgraceful. A person is not supposed to “apologize” for a compliment that is the truth they gave someone considerately. Coercing people to make non-apology apologies though should be a crime. Baruchs false accusers should apologize to him for making up some really good story about something he never said wrong. There really should be no debates on this machine for a computer about this. This saying, your bosom is lovely should not be a crime. Making complimenting breasts,cleavage and rears an illegal “crime”, this cursed thinking is from the devils and Lucifer.
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Stick by your team through thick and thin, despite the wins and
losses. It is Tennessee’s Rocky Top, Florida’s
Old Ball Coach, and of course the Gator Chomp and
the mighty Tim Tebow. So besides the fact that both sports are being played with 11 players on the field, the similarity ends here.
Yeah… Idris Elba in Takers… The one scene no woman can forget. Lmao.