[tps_header]One question I get asked quite often is, “How do you know when you’re ready for marriage?”
I used to give a very non-direct answer such as, “You’re never really ready for marriage.” Then, I would go into a long explanation of that concept, which is largely true.
As one of the most emphatic teachers of marriage preparation, I can tell you that even with premarital counseling, you will still need to learn more about yourself and your relationship once you are married.
I was riding in the car with one of my mentees the other day when he asked me the very notable question, “How do you know when you’re ready for marriage?” This time my answer was different.
I looked at my life and marriage to see what decisions in my singleness have had the most impact in my marriage today. Those decisions actually came down to four commitments that I believe are strong signs of marriage readiness.
Four Commitments to Determine Readiness for Marriage
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1. Commitment to God
What you will learn very quickly about marriage is that we’re not smart enough to create such a highly complex institution. Marriage was created by God and for God, so it might bring glory back to Him. Well, before marriage comes, you must first learn how to be committed to God in the form of a relationship.
It is this commitment that becomes your foundation relationship in your life. If you are unable to commit daily to an unconditionally loving, never failing and always consistent God, then what makes you think you will be able to commit to an imperfect, will-hurt-your-feelings and fail-you-more-times-than-you-plan man or woman? Commitment to God is essential for a healthy marriage relationship.
2. Commitment to Church
After your commitment to God, the next commitment is your ability to commit to your local church. Now, I’m not just talking about Sunday attendance but actually being involved in your church in a volunteer role.
Why is this important in light of being prepared for marriage? Volunteering at your church shows the mature sign of taking your faith and using it to bless others. This is very important because being selfless is one of the most necessary qualities to have in a healthy marriage.
3. Commitment to Friends
It is well-acknowledged that marriages that last the longest have been built upon a foundation of a solid friendship. When you are single, it is easy to just focus on trying to find that one person to build a romantic relationship with versus learning how to become a good friend first.
It is in friendship that you learn how to be encouraging, challenging, patient and loyal no matter what. If you are a bad friend now, you will be a bad spouse later.
4. Commitment to Work
This is the easiest one of them all. If a person doesn’t work, a person doesn’t eat. This commitment is vital for the ability to simply live and enjoy this thing called life.
Plus, your work ethic will need to be applied within your marriage. Do you have the fortitude to work through difficulties? When trouble comes in your marriage, will you be committed to working through it or will you automatically search for the easiest road out?
I pray these four commitments shed light on some of the important things you should be focused on during your season of singleness. Also, when you do meet that special person, you can use these four commitments as a basis of conversation to see their readiness for marriage.
[tps_footer] BMWK, do you think you’re ready for marriage? [/tps_footer]