When it comes to our work, we can be so protective of our time. After all, time is money and we don’t want anyone messing with our money, right?
I get it. I am about my business, too, and I hate having my time wasted.
But the thing is, if women can be bosses when it comes to valuing our time in business, then why do so many of us allow men to waste our time when dating? It just doesn’t make any sense.
Sure, money is no longer involved, but does that make your time any less valuable? I don’t think so. I think anyone that enters your world and wants to stay in it, long-term, should value all of you—and that includes your time.
We teach people how to treat us. Once you start teaching a man that it is okay to devalue your time, he will keep doing it. Now this doesn’t mean that you should be inflexible. Not at all. Things happen and sometimes someone can waste your time even with the best intentions. But when wasting your time starts to become a pattern, it’s just disrespectful. And, you deserve better than that.
So how do you know if he doesn’t value your time? Here are 5 signs.
1. He’s ALWAYS late.
I hate being late. I will admit that since I’ve had children, my record of timeliness is tarnished, but I still try my best. But I have to admit that there are people I love who struggle with being on time—like they struggle a lot. That said, I still think there is something to be said for putting your best foot forward. If you just started dating someone and he is never on time for anything, he clearly doesn’t value your time. If it’s just a bad habit that he should at least make an effort to change once you bring it up. If he makes no effort to change, he just doesn’t value your time that much.
2. He makes comments that devalue the work you do.
When you date someone, he should value your time and the work that do, even if he doesn’t understand it. If your man has a demanding corporate job and acts like your time is always more flexible than his because you are a writer or an entrepreneur, then you have to clarify a few things for him. Your work may be different than his, but it still takes time and your time needs to be valued.
3. He only considers what’s most convenient for him.
If he only suggests doing things and going places when it’s convenient for him, without considering your wants and needs, he doesn’t value your time. A healthy relationship is about mutual respect. A man that values your time will ask about your schedule and will choose times that are mutually convenient before planning things.
4. He reschedules at the last minute a lot.
Doing this occasionally is not a huge issue, but if you are dating a man who does this a lot, it’s a problem. When a guy is always canceling or rescheduling it sends a clear message that he believes that his time is more valuable than yours. We both know that’s not true so he needs to either recognize your worth or hit the road.
5. He never checks with you before making plans.
A surprise from time to time is great. But when your man always takes it upon himself to plan stuff without checking in with you, it’s inconsiderate. What if you have a commitment you can’t break? What if you had something else in mind? I’m not knocking a brother who makes plans because I know so many get a bad rep for never planning. I’m simply saying that if he always does it and you rarely get to chime in on any of plans made (especially the dates and times for those plans), you have to wonder why he’s doing that.
Ladies don’t waste time! If the man you are dating doesn’t value your time, then it’s up to you to decided whether staying in the relationship is worth it or not. But either way, you should set some boundaries around respecting your time.
BMWK ladies, how do you know if the man in your life doesn’t value your time?