I think I get on my husband’s nerves sometimes. You know what else? He gets on mine, too. The truth is we are all flawed. There is no perfect person or perfect marriage. We all make mistakes, we all have bad habits, and we all have moments where we could (and should) do better.
Yet, despite these realities, some flaws should never be ignored. I believe that a few annoying habits is something we can all learn to deal with. But when someone’s character is flawed—well, that’ something that should make you question if you want to be with someone for the rest of your life.
Typically, character flaws don’t just pop up out of nowhere. People tend to show character flaws early on in a relationship because those flaws are just a part of who they are. Unfortunately, women can ignore those flaws when they are really into someone. You think things like, it’s not that bad or it could be worse. But deep down most women know that it is that bad and that things will eventually get a lot worse.
So before you go claiming that the man you love is “the one,” please remember that love isn’t enough. If he is flawed in the ways that bring you pause, you should truly consider if a life with him is what you want or need.
Here are 6 character flaws that shouldn’t be ignored.
Selfishness
We all have selfish moments, but never ignore behavior that shows you someone is consistently selfish. If your partner is unable to place your needs before his while you are dating, he won’t do it after you get married.
And I hate to break it to you, but he wouldn’t suddenly stop being selfish if you have kids either. Every relationship needs compromise. He must understand it’s okay to not get exactly what he wants, especially when that’s a compromise to provide for the wants and needs of someone he loves. It’s also a realization a man needs to come to on his own.
Entitlement
Does your man expect you to do everything around the house on your own? Does he leave trash whenever he goes out because he thinks it’s someone else’s job to pick it up? Does he act like everyone owes him something? These behaviors are proof that your man has an ugly sense of entitlement. And staying with him will mean a lifetime of unfair and unreasonable expectations.
Defensiveness
Feeling defensive at times is normal, but feeling defensive most of time is an issue. People who always feel like others are out to get them tend to have this need to defend who they are and what they’ve done at every turn. This can create an array of communication issues–from secrecy to a failure to take ownership.
But also consider this: if you are doing the right things in the first place, there isn’t a need to get defensive all the time.
Unreliable
A relationship should be a partnership, and one of the most important things about a partnership is knowing you can count on someone. If your man shows you time and time again that you can’t count on him, you have to wonder what a future with him will look like. What’s the point of being with someone who doesn’t have your back?
Volatile
When someone switches up on you at the drop of a hat, there is need for concern. A simple argument shouldn’t turn into a full-blown screaming match. A disagreement shouldn’t turn into your partner walking out the door and not coming back for a couple of days. When someone is unable to manage his emotions, you never know what to expect. And you shouldn’t have to spend every moment of your relationship walking on eggshells.
A lack of integrity
All a man truly has is his word. If a man consistently says one thing and does another, you should be concerned. A lack of integrity is not a quality a man will change simply because he loves you.
If your man didn’t follow a personal moral code when he met you, his moral compass won’t start working just because you are a part of his life.
BMWK ladies, are you ignoring your man’s character flaws?