Navigating the dating pool can be difficult. When you consider of a laundry list of compatibilities from physical attraction and personality to social class, it’s hard to decide where to begin. Yet, as a single Christian, there is one consideration that far outweighs them all: Character.
The Bible states in 1 Corinthians chapter 4, verse 5, “He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motive’s of men’s hearts.” This verse demonstrates that character is very important to God. And it should be equally important to you, especially when you’re seeking someone whom you want to spend the rest of your life with. Fortunately for you, there is already a biblical outline that defines what quality character should be. And that layout is found in Galatians chapter 5, verses 22 to 23. That’s right, the Fruit of the Spirit. Consider these nine spiritual qualities in all your future dating prospects.
1. Love
The capacity to love someone is bigger than feelings or emotions. Loving someone means having the capacity to put that person before yourself. Are they capable of this love? Who in their life are they loving like this already?
2. Joy
Joy is not just happiness as a temporary feeling; it’s a position you choose to stand in each day. Joy is saying, no matter what happens, my happiness is dependent upon Christ.
3. Peace
People walking in peace don’t worry because they have the peace of God flowing in their lives. With this quality, people do not allow their emotion and attitudes to get the best of them because they are at peace with themselves and others.
4. Goodness
Confidence in God allows you to serve others without requiring anything back. A person with this quality just desires to be a blessing to others at all times because they are grateful for all God has done for them. Have your interactions been free of self-serving motives or secret intentions?
5. Faithfulness
Now this is a very important quality, particularly in relationships. Faithfulness demonstrates someone’s commitment to something for the long haul. When you operate in faithfulness, you are obedient and unflinching even when things get challenging. Has your dating prospect demonstrated faithfulness to anything?
6. Gentleness
It sounds like an oxymoron, but it takes a strong person to be gentle. Why? Because exercising gentleness is usually something you do by choice, not by default. Has he or she shown any glimpses of gentleness?
7. Self-Control
This is one of my favorite qualities when advising singles. We are only as strong as our ability to control ourselves. People who demonstrate self-control can usually practice restraint in other aspects of their relationship (i.e. fidelity) because they are not ruled by their impulses.
8. Kindness
Ever heard the expression, “first impressions leave a lasting impression?” The fruit of kindness leaves an enduring impression because the genuine heart will shine from the very beginning.
Yes, marrying someone who is physically attractive is important, but marrying someone whose inside looks even better than the outside is even more important
9. Patience
Last but not least, patience—one of the most challenging traits to sustain. Nothing in life usually comes right when we want it. The ability to be patient during hard times will help you win many battles in this life—and in your relationship. Does he or she have the patience to continuously build upon your relationship’s foundation in good times and bad?
Yes, marrying someone who is physically attractive is important, but marrying someone whose inside looks even better than the outside is even more important. Examine future dating prospects for these nine qualities, but also use these qualities to help cultivate your own character.
BMWK family, would you stand up to our checklist? Would you make a good Christian dating prospect?