It’s admirable for any daughter to want a man “Just like her daddy.” If she had a great relationship with her father, why wouldn’t she want a man like him? Who would argue with her desire?
Father-figure
The role of a father in the life of a daughter (or son) cannot be overstated. That’s not to discount the role of a mother by any means. Momma always has a special place in the hearts of her children indeed. Her presence isn’t usually the void that needs to be filled.
In particular, I want to focus on the role of the father in the life of a daughter specifically in regard to how it impacts who she chooses to date.
The father/daughter relationship, when good, is foundational in building a daughter’s self-worth and self-worthiness.
When, the father is absent or negligent, there are several negative effects that plague the lives of daughters.
Research has attributed poor intimate relationships, early menstrual cycles, promiscuity, trust issues and various other issues that inhibit a woman’s ability to engage in healthy, meaningful relationships with men.
Fathers and Boyfriends in Context
Many women view their fathers as the model of what their man should look like in matters of operation. They look for the men in their lives to mirror the role that a father serves in the life of a daughter. There are some inherent similarities.
The father represents provision, protection, and leadership among other very important roles that he serves. Definitely, these marks of character should be modeled by a mature man. The difference is that a father-daughter relationship is one-sided in favor of the daughter. A father only wants to see his daughter happy.
He has no expectations from her for his own benefit. The same is true of any parent-child relationship. This is an entirely different dynamic than that of a man and woman in a dating relationship. That relationship is intended to be mutually rewarding. Their roles have been designed to provide such for each.
When a daughter considers her relationship with her father, she should learn how a father treats his child, specifically his daughter. In this relationship, the daughter is validated by her father. The father’s role is to secure her long before any young man is afforded an opportunity to have any real influence in her life for good or bad.
The father sets the foundation by his validation of her physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
This is the father-daughter relationship. When a daughter looks at her father, she should learn how a husband treats his wife by the example he sets in marriage to her mother. This is the example of how a woman should be treated by a man in pursuit of a wife and not the example of the father-daughter relationship.
Daddy’s girl is a father-daughter relationship not to be modeled by any other man than a father for the daughter he loves. When a woman desires her man to treat her like her father treated her in a dating relationship, it could very easily come across as selfishness though that may not be her intent.
The father, seen in his role as a husband to his wife, is the model to be noted and learned from. From this context alone is where a daughter learns how she is to be treated by a husband in marriage. She will not learn this in a father/daughter relationship. From her mother, as a wife, is where she learns how a wife treats her husband.
The Family
From our parents, we learn how to conduct ourselves as husband/wife in marriage as well as a mother/father to our children. The misappropriation of the necessary and meaningful relationships between parents and children, when infused into dating relationships, will cause unnecessary catastrophic results in those misguided relationships that make this fatal error.
Parental relationships were purposed to develop little girls and little boys into healthy, whole men and women prepared for covenant relationships. The parental seed has then reproduced after its kind. This is the building block of the family.
BMWK Fam