When people hear that I met and married my husband in eleven short months, they often assume we had a whirlwind romance. The truth is, while we were madly in love when we got married, we used our heads to make a good decision.
That out of control, head-over-heels feeling is amazing and it’s one you should enjoy when you’re in love. But you also want to use your head. If you notice these 7 signs, it could mean that you’re doing too much in your new relationship and it’s time to pump the breaks.
1. You take down your online dating profile after the first date.
He made you laugh. You have so much in common. The chemistry is off the charts! You’ve talked day and night for 3 days straight. This means he’s your boyfriend, right?
Wrong!
He’s just a great date at this point, and for all you know, he could be sending “good morning gorgeous” text messages to another woman at the exact time, making her feel like he’s her future boyfriend, too. The point is, he’s not your man until you have a conversation about being exclusive.
Until then, keep your profile up!
2. You do his laundry, bring him lunch to work, and loan him your car so he can take his kids to see their grandmother.
Girl, you’re acting like his wife (or maybe more like his mama) and he hasn’t even labeled the relationship! You’re doing too much!
Read: You’re His Girlfriend, Not His Wife. These 4 Things Won’t Get You a Ring?
3. You cancel all of your “Girls’ Night Out” plans with your friends to make yourself available whenever he calls.
Your friends feel like you dumped them for a man whom they haven’t even met! Putting your life on hold for someone who hasn’t put a ring on it is a sign you’re getting attached too fast.
4. You get jealous of the women who comment on his social media pictures and it’s only been 3 weeks since you started talking.
He hasn’t even changed his Facebook status to “In a relationship,” yet, girl, which is a sign that you haven’t had important conversations about your relationship requirements and needs. Slow down!
5. You had three text messages and one real date, and you’re already talking about having kids together, going to Jamaica in the summer, and what your wedding will look like.
You need time and space to decide if someone is a good match for you. Schedule your next date in two weeks and see if he’s still into you (and if you still like him!)
6. You’re hanging out at his place and a jewelry commercial comes on. You tell him that’s the kind of ring you’d like to have when you get engaged.
If it’s been 2 months since your first date and you’re dropping hints about where you want him to go ring shopping for you, you run the risk of pushing away a good man.
Moving too fast in a relationship is just as dysfunctional as running from commitment.
7. You swoon when he declares his love to you on the first date and says he’s never felt this way before about a woman.
Sounds romantic, right? Hold on though, because he might be “in love with love.”
Worse yet, this may be a sign he has never had a healthy relationship before and doesn’t know what it means to really love someone. It could also mean he has some secrets he doesn’t want you to know about until he’s sure he’s hooked you so you don’t leave him!
I know you want to know right away if the man you’re seeing is “The One,” but if you rush your new relationship, you’ll run the risk of ruining it!
Moving too fast in a relationship is just as dysfunctional as running from commitment. A relationship can’t last if it’s only built on a foundation of chemistry or fantasies about who you think someone is. Take the time to get to know him so that you are confident you’re choosing the right man.
Pump the breaks by focusing on the present moment. Don’t project too far into the future or make too many plans with someone you’ve just met. You’ll guard your heart from unnecessary heartache if things don’t work out.
BMWK, have you ever rushed into a relationship? How long did it last?