Is it true, men will only change for one woman?
In an August interview with Black Enterprise, Steve Harvey stated: All men can change. All men will change, but there is only one woman we are going to change for. Just one… If he ain’t changin’, it’s ’cause you ain’t the one!”
BMWK, what do you think?
I don’t agree with this statement for many reasons, but the main reason is because I believe an individual should change for themselves first and not for others.
In doing so, others will benefit from your change; and it eliminates additional issues within your relationship.
I don’t personally know the background of Harvey’s story, so I will use his statement as a surface example to prove my point. As Harvey stated in the above clip, he was already ready to change, but a bad marriage prevented him from doing so. And if I had the opportunity, I’d like to question exactly how someone else prevented him from changing.
Your desire and source of change should come from within. No one should hinder you from becoming a better version of yourself. Your change should not be birthed out of a desire to please someone else, but out of a desire to please you.
In relationships, compromise is mandatory; and compromise and change or two different words.
If you change for others, you could possibly open the door to resentment, strife and discontentment in the relationship. In relationships, compromise is mandatory; and compromise and change or two different words. Compromise means to settle a dispute by mutual concession. Change means to make or become different.
Based on these definitions are you compromising or changing in your relationship? Harvey mentioned his current wife, Marjorie was easy, which allowed his personal change to occur. Transition is never easy. But when you connect with individuals who support your change, it makes it smoother and swifter.
Begin to evaluate your support system and determine if you have the right people on your team. Also realize that not just one person sparks or ignites your desire to change. Over time, our interactions with strangers along with our personal relationships begin to influence our daily decisions and desires.
Don’t allow your desire to please others supersede your desire to please yourself. There is an old song by Billy Joel, “I love you just the way you are.” The first verse of the song states: “Don’t go changing to try and please me.” And I think that is the best advice we can adhere to. Be yourself. Be willing to be flexible in your relationships. But make life changes based on your own desires and not the desires of others.
BMWK, who are you changing for?