For the single who’s sincere about dating, courting, and marrying a suitable partner, the temptation to date someone who has “potential” comes up every now and then.
For example, a potential partner is someone who may have 8 out of 10 things on your list of desired qualities in a mate. However, those last two traits may be vital.
Related: 4 Annoying traits that could be ruining your relationships
I understand that we don’t want to have such high standards that we ourselves cannot meet in order to give love a chance, but there are those moments when you have to walk away because the potential is not enough to start or keep the relationship going.
It’s advised for singles to accept the person for who they are in that moment not getting caught up in the ideas and hopes you have of what they could be.
Now these might not even be your ideas or hopes, they can be what the person told you that they were doing or aspiring to be. But here’s the thing: if you didn’t know this person previously, there’s a risk that they are lying to keep you in their “potential trap.”
- Maybe they’re going back to school to get that degree, certificate, or skill.
- Maybe they have this grand idea for a business and they told you about it and, because you got the inside scoop to their dream, you feel special.
- Maybe they’re in between jobs and are looking for their breakthrough.
- Maybe they go to church but are unsure or immature about their walk with the Lord.
At some point, whether good or bad, you’re going to start seeing results because potential that’s not active is not possible. As someone who has dated both lazy and ambitious young men, I can say that there needs to be evidence.
Related: Is God keeping you single or keeping you together?
If they’re just giving you lip service with no blue prints, long hours at work, or effort, then the fascination with their potential is going to fade and you’re going to get frustrated.
You called yourself being a good, non-judgmental Christian by seeing this person for more than what they are right now and tried to see what God sees in them, but did you see yourself in this journey of theirs?
Don’t end up chasing a dream with someone you didn’t ask God about. He will reveal their motives and purpose in your life. You very well could be trying to date someone who’s only going to be a friend, customer, or client.
What about when you reach your personal potential and there’s no love interest? It’s very natural to be guarded towards new people that enter your life at this point because your main concern is if they are real to you at your elevated status.
If your heart and spirit are right in the midst of your achieved potential, God is going to look out for you because greatness attracts greatness.
He gives us discernment at any level, but He will definitely be there for you to sort out those who are for you or against you; it’s just up to you to be humble enough to listen.
Plus, you’re at a new, elevated level that will attract better options with their own achievements and ambition that’s fitting to yours. Be about your goals and your Father’s business, and He will introduce you to the people He’s destined for you to meet.
If you want more than just potential in a mate, you have to be willing to match what you ask for. Remember, he that finds a wife finds a good thing; he that finds a potential wife finds a distraction.
Ladies and Gents, if you want a spouse you have to be ready to become a responsible, godly spouse in your single season. This is the time to work on that as a single and not get distracted with needing a human partner to hold your hand in the process.
You certainly can build your empire with your spouse, but it may not be necessary to build it together when you’re just dating.
Allow God to build you and get your house in order so that your complement can match and add unto you, not take your effort and work down because their potential was not fulfilled yet.
BMWK fam do you have dealbreakers when it comes to dating someone with potential?