Whenever I coach a couple and one of the partners is constantly complaining about what the other is doing wrong, I always ask, “Why do you stay in this relationship?” The answer that usually follows the shock of that question is, “Well, I do love him.”
Of course love has to be present in order for a relationship to survive. Love is the minimum requirement. In some cases, unfortunately, even that love is not enough to make someone change, or stay. So once I remove the fact that the couple is in love, I continue to question why they stay. The explanations typically vary, but they all seem to make sense to that couple.
When we decide to remain in a relationship we constantly complain about, we need to be clear on the real reason we are there. That answer does require some soul searching. Sometimes couples realize those habits they had been complaining about weren’t that big of deal anyway, so they stay. Other times, a couple unfortunately decides the reasons they used to stay weren’t strong enough, and they leave. If the reasons you decide to stay aren’t powerful enough, or have no intention behind them, it will affect you and the future of your marriage.
There are a variety of reasons couples should actually stay married. However, the ones listed below won’t benefit your relationship and need to be reconsidered.
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