I think we are all a work in progress. Anyone who isn’t trying to make improvements, daily, is pretty self-absorbed if you ask me. After all, none of us are perfect. Now, I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t be happy with who you are. I happen to love myself. But I also know that I am flawed. I make mistakes every day. But I want to do better. I want to be a better mom … [Read more...]
Not Willing to Change for Your Spouse? But What About for Your Marriage?
In my coaching practice, I always bring couples to the realization that they can’t change their partners. As frustrating as it may be, that particular partner has to have a desire to change. But often, when you find a partner worth the sacrifices that accompany change, it will naturally happen. After I met and married my husband, I quickly realized a few of my behaviors … [Read more...]
If Your Relationship Has Flatlined, Here Are 5 Real Steps to Resuscitate a Lifeless Marriage
By Veronica Tetterton, Ph.D. Many married couples have witnessed first-hand, the sharp descent from marital bliss to misery in the wake of the exchange of their wedding vows. What happens to the marriage after we say “I do?” According to psychology research, life happens. We encounter new stressors of children, work, finances, all while trying to maintain our role … [Read more...]
The One Surprising Thing You Just Might Be Forgetting to Give Your Spouse Every Day
Life is busy! In fact, I just had to be reminded to get some rest and remove my feelings of guilt and shame when I sit and do absolutely nothing. It feels as though people are always on the go. There are a million things to do and not nearly enough hours in the day to actually accomplish any of them. With church, jobs, children, school, extracurriculars, family and a … [Read more...]
What Happens When You Celebrate the Good in Your Spouse Instead of Focusing on the Bad
Most of us are tougher on ourselves than anyone else would ever be. Unfortunately, that means we can also be tougher on our spouses than anyone else would be. When we enter marriage, we all enter with a set of expectations. Our hope is that those expectations will be met. When they aren’t, we have a lot to say, and it’s typically not very pretty. But are our marital … [Read more...]
5 Marriage Lessons I’ve Learned That Just Might Help Other Couples Succeed
I have been married for over 17 years. Through the ups and downs I have learned several lessons that made me a better spouse. In fact, I'm sure quite a few couples have learned through trial and error things they could teach other couples. Here are a few of mine: How to communicate effectively to my spouse My husband and I did not know how to communicate. I didn't listen … [Read more...]
“We Need to Talk.” What To Do When Communication Problems Arise
Communication problems are common in marriages. And, to be honest, it’s not just married people who struggle with effectively expressing their thoughts. All around the world, people are communicating poorly every single second, and most usually don't realize it. So what do we do? How do we change this pattern of poor communication in marriages, knowing that the … [Read more...]
Top 5 Reasons You Should No Longer Use for Staying Married
Whenever I coach a couple and one of the partners is constantly complaining about what the other is doing wrong, I always ask, “Why do you stay in this relationship?” The answer that usually follows the shock of that question is, “Well, I do love him.” Of course love has to be present in order for a relationship to survive. Love is the minimum requirement. In some cases, … [Read more...]
Wives, 3 Secrets for Decoding the Messages Your Husband Sends
Men are usually direct. Although they may not talk as often as we would prefer, they usually know how to say what they're thinking. There are, however, moments where our men may not directly verbalize what they're feeling, but may drop hints instead. Ladies, it's important to pay very close attention to those clues, and take action where necessary. Here's what to look … [Read more...]
6 Ideas to Say “YES” to In Your Marriage
I still remember the day my husband proposed. I was saying yes, through tears, before he had even fully asked the question. I knew what I wanted, so there wasn’t any hesitation. When it’s right, it’s right. The truth is, what I wanted then hasn’t changed all that much. In addition to being in love, my desire is to be happy, have joy and live in peace in my home. None of that … [Read more...]
Why Divorce Should Not Be “The New Normal”
Unfortunately, the truth is, divorce does seem to be the new normal. We're considering divorce quicker than we're looking for a solution. What happened in our marriages that made it easier to flee than to fight? It seems as though when things become more challenging than we imagined, a large majority of couples aren’t willing to do the work. Marriage is a life changing … [Read more...]
Rephrasing Things So Your Husband Can Actually Hear You
I think men often get a bad rep for not being the best listeners. I’ve heard women complain about how their husband tunes them out or doesn’t quite get what they are trying to express. But as communicators, we have to really be willing to ask ourselves some tough questions if our messages are not being well received. Sometimes the problem is not the message or the receiver. … [Read more...]
How Many Promises Have You Reneged on Since You Got Married?
Do you remember the beginning of your relationship? What was it like? I’m sure you were both excited about the newness of getting to know one another. The beginning of anything is usually exciting. In the beginning, couples are typically focused on pleasing and impressing the other. There is so much effort put into the relationship because we want it to last. We are somehow … [Read more...]
Would You Marry You?
Some married folks are quick to complain about the flaws of their spouse. For some odd reason many of us think we're perfect. It's difficult to recognize our own errors, but easy to point out those of others. Go figure. When I was a young single I had this image of the perfect spouse. A mate who catered to my every need with limited flaws seemed ideal. Unrealistic, I know. … [Read more...]
3 Wise Actions That Will Transform Your Marriage
Over time, situations, people and lives change. Our situations improve, people mature, and we all know life is simply a series of constant transformations. Usually we don’t have much control over certain life changes. Unfortunately, we have no power over illnesses or who leaves this earth and when; but what we do have authority over is the type of partner we become. One of the … [Read more...]