I will start this post off by being completely honest in answering this question; I would definitely find it a bit of a challenge if my husband’s best friend happened to be another woman. This subject was presented courtesy of my husband who had a detailed discussion on the topic during his last barber shop visit.
I contemplate the dynamics of a best friendship. The people we choose to fit the role of best friend usually have qualities or behaviors which help them stand out amongst our other comrades. This is the person we run to first whenever we are having the best day of our life and especially when we are having the worst. They are quite familiar with the good, bad and the ugly of who we are and love us anyway. We trust them with everything including our secrets. We never allow too much time to pass without being in contact with them. We lean on them for a shoulder to cry on and to acquire that much needed advice on how to handle those special life situations. They are selected to be the “bestie” for a reason. In most instances we have shared with them more than what we’ve shared with our spouses. With all of that being said, how can I be completely comfortable with my husband having this type of relationship with another woman?
I do trust my husband and I happen to adore the female friends he currently has. However, I am not sure how I would feel if one of them were given the official title of “best friend”. I feel as though once a person enters into a marriage their spouse should begin to fill the role of confidant and trusted ally. I am by no means saying the friendship has to end, but the structure would have to be tailored slightly. There would have to be an understanding. The friend of the spouse would now have to become a friend to the marriage and be okay with taking a back seat.
It may not seem fair to ask this request of such a close friend, but if the friend is true they are only going to want the best for us. And if making our spouse feel loved, respected and trusted is one of those requests, there shouldn’t be a problem.
BMWK, What If Your Spouse’s Best Friend was of the Opposite Sex?