Do you ever find yourself thinking about your life and wondering, “how did I get here?” If you are fortunate enough to have never experienced this thought, consider yourself blessed. But, if like so many people, you realize that you are in a passionless career, a dead-end job, or a situation that makes you feel unfulfilled, please know that you are not alone.
Spending hour after hour, day after day, pursuing something you aren’t passionate about affects every aspect of your life – even your marriage. Think about how many hours you spend at work. Think about how much of your energy goes to people you don’t even love (sometimes you don’t even like them). It’s alarming when you do the math. How you spend so much of your time every day truly matters.
When you consider all of these factors, it’s really no surprise that being unhappy professionally will affect your ability to be happy in your marriage. When you feel a lack of passion for what you do, day in and day out, how can you possibly go home feeling excited about your relationship? Some people can do it, but it truly is challenging. Spending an entire day doing work that brings you no joy is draining, and it can prevent you from really giving your relationship what it needs.
As we age, it truly is our responsibility to figure out what our life’s passion is. What brings us joy? What makes us tick? If you think it’s not that important, you are so mistaken. Identifying what you are passionate about, and having the courage to pursue it, can make all the difference in how happy you are – and we all know that how happy your are will inevitably affect the quality of your marriage.
When you love what you do, there will still be challenges. That’s just how life works. But managing those challenges is so much easier when you are passionate about whatever is bringing those challenges your way. When you are unable to identify what you are passionate about – what truly matters to you – you start to feel like you are losing a piece of your soul. That feeling can have a very negative impact on your marriage.
I think we all owe ourselves, and our spouses, some time to really sit and look at how we feel about our lives? Do we love what we do? Does it matter? Does it fulfill us? The answers to these questions matter, because once we are able to answer yes to all of them, a shift occurs in our being. The world seems to make more sense. We end up with more energy and a greater sense of purpose. And all of that leads to a marriage that is more fulfilling.
Your spouse should be a person who adds immense joy to your life, however they should not be the only reason you are joyous. That is far too much pressure to put on one person. When you begin to feel like your place in this world matters because you took some time, did the work, and figured out what you are passionate about, you will also begin to realize that you can view your marriage with a renewed sense of clarity. It doesn’t mean that things will suddenly be perfect, but it does mean that you can deal with the issues that are present without being clouded by your personal dissatisfaction about not living out your purpose.
BMWK Family, have you found your passion? If so, what impact has it had on your marriage?