Please excuse me for a moment while I vent. I am always puzzled by married people who consistently choose not to wear their wedding ring. The excuses typically communicated are “people know I’m married” or “the ring is just a piece of jewelry and doesn’t define my marriage.” In my opinion those reasons are tired and played.
Lately, I developed this strange habit of looking for wedding rings on the hands of individuals I know are married. I guess a major component of this is my excitement over all things love. The other part is my hope that people are properly representing and not sending out the wrong message. I look for wedding rings in advertisements; especially when there is an African-American couple with a family. I also watch for them on the hands of celebrities who I know are married. I am not quite sure where this current fixation on wedding bands originated from, but it’s here. I want the children in our communities to see marriage as a positive and something to look forward to.
Just recently I was watching a sports talk program and noticed a popular retired athlete, turned sports analyst, whose marriage is pretty public, not wearing his ring. He was dressed in his suit and analyzing a game, but again my eyes immediately went to his ring finger and no ring. No big deal to some, I know. Of course he can do what he wants, wear it or not wear it. However, my immediate thought was hoping everything was okay in his marriage and that he and his wife were still together. I guess my biggest question is, why wouldn’t you wear your wedding ring? I understand the occasional hand swelling or the ring being re-sized excuses. Those are valid reasons not to rock your band. But on average, those who consistently make the choice to leave it at home and don’t think of it as a big deal, is concerning.
The ring symbolizes a never ending circle of love. It represents the commitment we made and the vows we shared with the person we love. It is a sign to the rest of the world that we found the one person we desire to spend the rest of our lives with. At least it should anyway. And why wouldn’t you want the world to know that? I wear my ring with pride. I love being able to quickly smile and flash it whenever I am approached. Those of us who are married have to be really careful with how we represent our marriages. Not wearing a ring can definitely send a message that you are available, interested or having trouble at home. I’d rather us wear our rings with pride because of the lifelong love commitment we’ve said “I do” to.
BMWK — What are your thoughts on wearing or not wearing your wedding ring?