by Eric Payne from the series AP Manhood
Anyone who reads me here and on my blog MakesMeWannaHoller.com knows I fight for the rights of the fellas, especially when discussing the “for better or worse” nuances of marriage.
Why? Because I bring my A-game to the relationship table and expect to be met halfway. I did so as a single man and I do so now as a husband and a father. My A-game is not about smooth moves and lines and having that je ne sais quoi that makes a woman know you are The One (although this does have its necessary place from time to time). No, it’s much simpler and actually quite old fashioned. I’m talking about chivalry.
Any man who doesn’t believe he needs to respect or honor women as he does himself is a fool. Whether this means giving your seat to a pregnant woman on the train or bus, helping an elderly woman (if she wants it) to cross the street or down the hall, holding doors open for a woman walking behind you as you enter a building, opening car doors, pulling out her seat at dinner, bending down to pick something up that a woman dropped or at the very least letting her know she dropped it, saying “Please” and “Thank you” when making a request or receiving any gesture of kindness from a woman…the list is endless and should be adhered to in all but the most extreme cases. In these instances all you can do is pray for folks.
I’m not going to state that men haven’t had their share of bad experiences with the dead-wrong girl or the unfortunate multiple run-in(s) with women who had the misfortune of not being parented so that they learned to respect themselves or understand that kindness isn’t weakness. But these relationship fiascos are a part of life. Don’t make the next girl pay for the crimes of the ex-girl.
Women are our mothers, wives, sisters, daughters, cousins, aunts, teachers, nurses, pastors, etc. For the man out there not giving a flying you-know-what about women I pose this question: How would you feel if some man felt the same and acted accordingly toward any of the valuable women in your life? And if not them, how about your daughter?
As my little daughter says, “Girls rock!” Damn what a rapper says in front of a catchy beat or what some high pitched young’n sings on today’s top R&B singles wishing with all his might he could croon for five seconds like Marvin or Teddy and dance like Michael. Chivalry ain’t dead, just the thinking of those who believe otherwise. Women don’t let any man rob or never acknowledge your value because you just want him so. If he doesn’t respect you or you witness him not respecting his momma or any other female that he should be valuing please, run the other way. Run fast. Or opt to educate, but please don’t date.
BMWK what happens when you run into a man who is hardly chivalrous? Women do you take him on believing you can “change” him? Men, do you sit this brother down and attempt to set him straight for the sake of our community as a whole, or do you just leave him to his own foolishness?
Follow Eric on Facebook and Twitter. He is the author of DAD: As Easy As A, B, C! and has written the articles Investing In An Emotional Letdown and the now infamous, My Wife Is NOT My Friend (on Facebook). He keeps it candid about being a man, dad and husband on his blog, Makes Me Wanna Holler.com.