Do you dread dating because you can’t figure out why men lose interest after the first date? Do you wonder why these guys come on strong when they first meet you and then flake when they say they’ll call you again? Are you confused and wonder if you’re “The First Date Queen” who can’t get into a relationship because you’re just not attractive enough?
If you answered yes to any of these questions, I can help you!
Many of my clients found themselves in a similar situation. But by using the tips I’m about to share with you, they have discovered the secret to becoming so irresistible to men that they were asked for a second date before the first date was over.
Tip #1: Assume He Already Likes You
If you’ve been burned multiple times by flakey men, it’s easy to walk into your next date already expecting this new guy to lose interest as well. If you stay in this frame of mind, though, you’ll sabotage the date.
Act as if you’re confident until you begin to believe it.
For example, one sista who had a pattern of not being able to get past the first date told me she didn’t believe the men who told her she was so pretty because they’d only seen her online dating profile picture and they hadn’t met her in person yet. She was so sure that once the guys saw her freckles and moles on her face, they’d change their minds. She didn’t realize that these men weren’t responding to her flaws. They were just reacting to her own insecurities about her looks, insecurities that were causing her to act very awkward and unsure about herself on the date, when she was fun and flirty with them online.
Try This: To fix this problem I told her to assume her next date already liked her and to be astonished if he doesn’t. Act as if you’re confident until you begin to believe it (and the men will believe it too!)
Tip #2: Be Interested in Your Date Instead of Trying to Be Interesting
If you spend an entire date trying to impress the other person, you’ll come across as trying too hard. You’ll spend too much time in your head, figuring out the next thing you should ask, instead of paying attention to what’s happening right in front of you.
Try This: The solution to this common dating problem is to be genuinely interested in your date.The person you’re having coffee with has a lifetime of experiences you haven’t discovered yet. Be curious, ask him to share stories with you, and find 2-3 things you really appreciate about him. You’ll find that the conversation will flow more easily and you’ll actually have a good time together.
Tip #3: Focus On the Present Moment and Forget About the Outcome
You’ll ruin your date if you keep worrying about if he likes you or if he’s your husband! The first date is not the time to imagine a future together. Your sole purpose is to have a good time and see if there’s enough attraction and mutual interest there to see each other again.
Try this: Stop being so attached to the outcome and you’ll discover that you’ll be less anxious and more confident.
Tip #4: Just Keep Dating!
Here’s the big secret to ending your reign as the First Date Queen: Keep your options open! There’s a certain energy you’ll exude when you aren’t bothered by whether someone will call you back or not, because you know the right man will. A man can sense if you’re anxious for him to choose you vs if you’re being selective and deciding if you want to go out with him for a second date.
Try This: Until you are in an exclusive, committed relationship, continue to date other people (there’s nothing stopping you from being able to go out for coffee with someone else.) This mindset alone will cause your confidence to go through the roof.
These tips have worked for many of my clients. One woman struggled for months with lackluster first dates with guys she wasn’t very interested in. Applying these tips, within four weeks she had 5 dates in one weekend! Four of those men asked her for a second date on the spot and one of the gentlemen booked her next weekend solid. She is now in an exclusive, committed relationship.
I want you to be inspired and I want you to be next! So tell me, BMWK single ladies, which tip will you try for your next date?