Don and I decided to do a 30 Days of Service Challenge after watching the below video by Comedian Mike Goodwin. Mike decided to do something every day to serve his wife for an extended period of time – – 30 days. I thought it was going to easy to knock out. Wrong! The first few days we were enthusiastic about out-serving each other. He made me breakfast in bed on more than one Saturday. And, I fixed his plate on several occasions.
I thought to myself, “This is going to be easy.” I thought, “Tanya, you got this.”
I quickly saw how unprepared I was to do this challenge. I gave it no thought and struggled the first few days. I actually realized that Don does way more for me than I do for him. That made me mad. I was determined to outdo him.
He is the messy person in our marriage so his side of the room is a train wreck. I decided to clean it up for him and to organize his closet. He was blown away because I usually fuss about how much of a mess his area is. After receiving a nice “wifey reward”, I decided to ramp this service thing up.
If you are inspired to take the 30 Days of Service Challenge, below are a few things I did for my husband or what he did for me. This is not an exhaustive list but rather a start.
- Pack their lunch
- Give them the evening off while you run the kids around
- Drop off/pick up their dry cleaning
- Fix their plate
- Wash their clothes and put them away
- Clean up their side of the room
- Write a letter of appreciation
- Place an envelope with a gift card from their favorite food spot in their car
- Turn off the television and give them your time
- Give a back massage after a shower
- Give a pedicure (Yes, I did this for my honey and yes, it was weird.)
- Grab their favorite food on the way home from work.
Side note: My sixteen year old daughter had a lot to say about me serving my husband. She was actually irritated by it all. I’m thankful she voiced her annoyance because this opened dialogue in our home about husbands and wives serving each other with both of our teens.
The National Healthy Marriage Institute says that one of the keys to happy relationships is putting your spouse’s needs before your own. This will allow you to create a “spirit of service” in your relationship. Here are five more things they want you to know about service:
- “The antidote to selfishness is service.” It’s difficult to be selfish when you are serving your spouse. Service forces you to put the needs of your spouse before your own needs.
- “The spirit of service is contagious.” Give it a try. They say that your spouse will begin to reciprocate in about 3 weeks. So continue to be consistent with your service and watch your relationship change!!
- “Serving your spouse does not mean tolerating abuse or unacceptable behavior.” If your spouse is abusing you physically or mentally, you need to seek help immediately.
If you are having a problem with serving your spouse, then I ask you to put it to the test with this challenge. Make a list of the things that you can do every day to serve your spouse and do them consistently. And do them with a cheerful heart and without any thoughts of what you may or may not get in return. And you will begin to experience “the joy and happiness in your marriage that accompanies service.”
I promise, you will see your spouse with different eyes after completing this challenge. Make sure to let me know how it goes in the comments below. Also, give us a few more ideas to add to our list.
BMWK – What a your thoughts on serving your spouse? Does this make you uncomfortable? Why or why not?