Ladies, ladies, ladies.
Marriage is a goal for most of us because we want to share our lives with that special man of our own and raise a family together. Unfortunately not all men want to get married. To tell the truth not all women want it either.
But if you want to get married and are currently in a relationship, the following three types of men are probably wasting your time in your pursuit to become a wife.
1. He moved in with you and has no job, car or anything of his own.
Usually this type of man was momma’ed (I know it’s not a real word) forever and neither knows how, nor has the desire to, become self- sufficient.
This man goes from his momma’s house to his woman’s house as long as she is willing to take care of him.
He’s used to never having to work, clean up, or buy anything for himself. He looks for women who will treat him like a king while he sits on your throne, eating your food, using your water and electricity, and playing video games while you are out working.
If you have to take care of him like a child, he is not going to marry you.
2. He never talks about marriage.
When you bring up the subject, he may go along with you to keep you happy. Ask him to set a date and pay attention to his response.
Does he laugh it off or say “let’s talk about it later” or does he just change the subject?
Also be careful because he may try to distract you with sex. If he wants to marry you, he will propose and/or start talking about it to you. If he doesn’t talk about it, especially after you have been together for years, he is not going to marry you.
3. He has several children with different women, none of whom he married.
If his claim to fame is the number of kids he has, girl run.
Why would you want to be with someone who’s fathered several children with several women yet parents none of them (this should be obvious if he is sitting around on your couch)? You may even have kids by him, but if he doesn’t talk about marriage during or after your pregnancy/pregnancies, chances are he never will.
If bragging about the number of kids he has is his only conversation, he is not going to marry you.
Don’t think for a minute that you can change a man into being what you want. You shouldn’t even want to because that’s manipulation and you wouldn’t want anyone to do that to you.
If you are not in a relationship now, avoid the types of men mentioned above. It would just waste your time because they don’t want to get married. If you are living with one type of man mentioned above, you need to change the situation. You may need to get your own place or put him out of yours.
The more you prolong it, you run the risk of missing out on the man who is for you. Don’t be afraid to be alone or believe that you don’t deserve to be with someone who wants the same things you do.
Think about what is best for you and act accordingly. Your husband is out there, so don’t miss him by wasting time with someone who has no interest in walking down the aisle.
BMWK family, what other red flags should women watch for if they want to get married?
Amen!!!
Add #4: He/she may not be marriage material. I made a big mistake by marrying and should not have. As I reflect on my past mistake, I learned that neither myself or now, ex husband, were prepared because it was not God’s will for us to marry since we were yet sinners. But when you learn better, you do better!!!
What does being a sinner have to do with being ready for marriage. There are plenty of non Christians who have successful marriages as well as those who were converted later. I think it’s safer to say you didn’t have the tools for marriage and you weren’t ready. Don’t put your failure on God’s will.
These articles are written to delude women and above all create a false security for stupid women who don’t deserve even a ring on their toes.
Bottom line is, today’s woman is so dicey and has one mission. The mission is to brag about the wedding on social networks or to her church friends. None have a clue that marriage and a wedding are two different things. I for one don’t see the value in marriage, I feel for many guys who are fooled into this fraud of a deal that benefits only one person.
Today’s generation is so flawed and fake, even real men are scarce. Even gay marriages are being given a platform now because the traditional marriage has failed dismally. So Mr writer, these type of man are who they are, there is also the three types of women who are smiling cause they trapped a good man.
S
^^^Stephen it is unfortunate if you don’t see the bigger picture. Marriage is very important as the foundation for the family, children benefit when they are brought into a solid family situation with a mother and father working together to provide a stable, nurturing home. And as the family grows strong so does the community. Men benefit from having the love, and support of a wife who loves and respects them. And women and children benefit from having a man who provides a covering, stability, protection. Black children, Black men, Black women and Black communities are suffering because of this brokenness. You are right that it is not about the wedding, or the big party. I have watched my parents who have been married for over 50 years now, and they had some rough patches for sure, but now they are in their 80’s and its a beautiful thing! They have each other, they have their home, they’ve provided for their children and added immensely to their grandchildren’s well being. Seek wisdom, find a good church, seek out a Men’s Group that advocates for marriage and family. Look at our President as a role model of being a Husband and Father. Read Proverbs in the Bible. Read it again, and then read it again. Mature yourself as a man, then find a good women who deserves you, and be blessed!
Love it!!!!
Amen, I’m a single woman who deserves to marry one day. Right now I’m waiting for my king ( prince) to find me. A couple of weeks ago I had this conversation with a man about why is it okay that even the church men and women feels it’s okay to live together without being made. I know a woman and man doing this right now and she feels it okay to live this way. Really!!!!!This is crazy!!!!
Amen! Stop being negative and looking at the world.
It sounds if you are the bitter one. It’s never acceptable to generalize all people. If you have no desire to be married, that’s good for you; however, don’t give off negative vibes to the rest of us who desire the gift of marriage.
I hope maturity reaches you sooner rather than later.
Before anyone gets in a relationship, they first need to love themselves. Because we cannot give what we do not have. Second, men and women need to know how to care for themselves and not be selfish. Being married requires being selfless and honest. .
I desire to be a wife and be married to a great man. I used to desire a huge glamorous wedding. A mature woman who knows what she wants clearly knows the difference between a wedding and a successful marriage. Marriage is Gods design for man and woman, for families. I have two children out of wedlock and as I’ve grown in maturity, I see the importance of why God created the sanctity of marriage. I am not a women who’ is going to settle for just any man for the sake of being married. My desire for marriage includes being obedient to God, not giving my body away to a man who does not love me enough to commit to me and raise a family. My desire for marriage includes having one man to grow old with, build a life with including a business, giving of ourselves to others through service and volunteering, having a companion, lover, growing our knowledge and understanding of the most high which will strengthen our spiritual union and marriage. I know what marriage means and I will only submitt myself to a man who knows what he wants and is serious about living that life . If you don’t desire marriage that’s okay for you, but don’t down anyone else who desires this most beautiful and sacred gift if done right.
I totally agree with the post Ms.Anna posted…I too have two kids…and my desires is to be married and everything God intended for in a marriage…however I’m not in a hurry…because I’m waiting for his timing…and plus I want to become the Pro.31 woman…before I say those sacred vows…
There are a few other “types” of men who are highly unlikely to marry a woman.
1. Even the highly intelligent, educated, well off man who “talks a good game,” if his actions Do Not back up his words. He’s full of it and has no intentions on marrying.
A man can talk about wanting to marry you til the cows come home. But if that’s all there is, and there is no real effort put forth to actually do it, not going to happen.
2.Any man that pops in and out of your life at his convenience. A man who does not have any true “staying power.”
3. A man that says he wants to marry you mere weeks after knowing you.
4. A man who is not consistent. A man whose life is all over the place and he has no clear direction on where he’s going, and what he wants to do.
5. A man who acts like a “player.”
Those are just a few of the ones I know of from experience, and otherwise.
A much needed blog post would be to inform women on how to recognize men who are truly great “Husband Material,” and men who are not.
One root problem of unhappy, bad marriages which inevitably end up in divorce is the fact that people are not making good choices in a life partner. There is so much emphasis on women simply finding a man period, there are very few guidance tools on helping women choose the Right Man to marry. Women are simply marrying the man who is in her life at the time, that asks her. Not being more critical of his character, and who he is as a person, the kind of father he will be, how he will treat her, is he a man of his word, is he a loyal man, is he spiritual, what is his relationship with God, is he a man of integrity, is he respectful, is he consistent, etc etc etc. There is so much pressure on women to marry and have children, they are taking whatever man they can get. They are too focused on superficial qualities, and they are missing all of the most important qualities in a man that are necessary to ensure a stable, happy, healthy, and long-lasting, relationship, and marriage. This is jmo based on what I see and hear.
In fact, I think when it comes to “black love & marriage” this is a pretty big issue. I know women who have unfortunately married All of these types of men, including ones who expressed at certain times that they did not want to get married. Some married the women for all of the wrong reasons. Some married the women because they were pregnant with their child, and some were pressured to marry the woman, and not just by her; but by her family and friends as well.
This is something that should be addressed to encourage happier, healthier, and more longer lasting relationships. Because you won’t have a marriage that last, if your relationship is on shaky ground, and not in a good place at the time of the proposal.
Oh and one more man who is highly unlikely to marry is a very immature and irresponsible one.