Most married people can connect to a time or two of frustration in their marriage relationship, but there also exists a path to a better relationship. So, here is an idea: For 2018, write a marriage mission statement together—a simple document of just a few sentences you and your spouse can create together that gives shape to your marriage.

It recognizes that we need each other to arrive at the places of God’s promise for us as individuals, so we create a set of guiding principles that will remind us to respect our points of mutual need. It’s important for the couple to create a personal document that really keeps them centered on what is important between the two of them. Yet, there are five key areas you will want to consider in creating a mission statement for your own marriage:

1. Start by asking big questions. Where are we going? What do we want to accomplish throughout the course of our marriage? What legacy do we want to pass on?

2. What guiding principles shape our relationship? One key element that you may want to include in your mission is a list of the things that matter the most to the two of you. The more specific the better! Think of areas like communication, money, trust, parenting, and life itself. For example, “We will honor Christ in how we speak to each other, even and especially in times of conflict. We will seek to build each other up and not use words to tear each other down. We will listen to learn of each other’s feelings, not listen to win an argument.”

3. What marriage legacy do you want to leave? A marriage mission statement should include where you want to end up. At some point, God is going to call one of you home and what will remain will be the blessed memories and the love that your marriage has sown in the lives of others. An
example might be, “It is the mission of this marriage to be an example of love to our children, those that enter our house, and those that we call our friends and family.”

4. What Scriptures will guide your marriage? In many ways, the message of the Bible is your mission statement, so Scripture has to be the backbone of the direction of your marriage. For example, when thinking about how to handle money, the words of the Lord, “It is more blessed to give than to receive,” may be helpful. There is no shortage of guidance from the Word of God.

5. What do we need to do and how do we need to treat each other, daily, to achieve God’s mission for our marriage? Simply writing your mission on paper does not move or shape your relationship. Rather, it is the action that you put behind the mission. The points of your mission statement call you to consider your individual and collective actions toward each other. For example, “We will set aside one hour a week to talk about our goals and our future together.” Or, “In order to bridge our communication gaps, I will set aside ten minutes out of every day just to listen to his/her feelings or needs.”

As you work through these questions as a couple, you can start to develop the Mission Statement for your marriage. Perhaps the mission would then look something like this:

On a daily basis, we will set aside time to talk and listen to each other. We will spend time sharing our concerns and giving each other equal time to air feelings when they happen and not harbor them. We will also discuss and reach decisions for our children and family—together.

On a monthly basis we will plan time to spend quiet, fun time together, just the two of us. This will be a time of connecting and reconnecting spiritually and intimately. Then at least once a year we will enjoy one big vacation together. At least once a quarter we will host an event for friends and family that will be a time to share, enjoy our friends, and allow our home and marriage to bless others through fellowship and friendship.

BMWK, what’s your marriage mission for 2018?