Do you have daddy-daughter dates? If not, you should. They are part of the foundation of a great daddy-daughter relationship. Last night, we had our first daddy-daughter date since our daughter turned 13. And we had a great time!
Over the years we’ve had some daddy-daughter outings, dates, and fun times together. But now, it feels like it has a little more meaning. It is a little more crucial. Play dates are a thing of the past, and on the horizon (a few years away!) are real dates.
I not only enjoyed myself on our daddy-daughter date, I was also very observant, and very reflective. I learned a few things, a few lessons from daddy-daughter dates. Lessons for myself as well as some things I can teach my daughter about dating.
1) How to dress for a date.
One of the first things we covered was how to dress. For our date, we were going to an NBA basketball game…. so hi-top sneakers were cool. Although casual sporty gear was doable, we wanted her to make sure her appearance reflected well on her. She cleaned her hi-tops, did her hair and had some of her favorite (skinny) jeans ready to go.
2) How to walk with your date.
We had to park a few blocks from the fieldhouse, so we had a nice walk downtown before the game. There were all kinds of “characters” and people going about their business. I wanted her to be aware of her surroundings, where we parked, and how to maintain personal space boundaries when walking with her date and among others.
3) How to be treated on a date.
Of course as her dad, I treated her with respect. I asked her to wait in the car while I took care of paying for parking, I opened doors, and helped her to her seat. When she was unable to see because of people standing I gave up my seat. Most importantly, we left when we said we would, and arrived home when we said we would. I even called her mother (my wife) to let her know we were enroute. 🙂
4) How to have conversation
Our conversation was all over the place at first. She was part of a group of youth entrepreneurs… so she was able to be a part of the pre-game warm-ups on the court with the players. So that dominated the conversation at first. Later, I found myself answering all kinds of questions, and a lot of whys. But I never got frustrated, even if it interrupted the game. We both asked questions of each other, and had a really good back and forth dialogue.
5) How to be present.
This is where challenges come that we didn’t have while dating. Technology! I admit, I was distracted early on trying to share the pictures via Twitter and Facebook that she took on the floor sitting on the team bench. But for the most part, my phone was in my pocket, and we were engaged. Which means she’ll probably allow me to take her on more dates. 🙂
BMWK Fam – What are some lessons you can teach your kids through daddy-daughter or mommy-son dates?
This is a great, and I love that you’re spending time with your daughter. Many girls grow up without fathers (or with fathers who don’t lead by example), and they never really know how to be treated by a man. Thanks for sharing.
My father took me and my sisters on our first date when we turned 13. He continued to do so in the following years. It set the standard of expectations for me when on a date. I have been married four years and still tell my husband thank you every time he opens a door for me. . . I forget when he picks up the tab sometimes (oops) but im a work in progress. Having the time with my dad and the years of dates was amazing, and seeing that not all girls my age had this relationship with their dad made me appreciate it more. I like to think the manners I learned from my dad spill over in to my marriage.