I’ll be honest and admit a truth: as husbands, we don’t always get it right. With the pressure put on us to perform in so many roles, sometimes the hardest thing in the world to do is to admit when we are wrong.

Knowing he let his wife down or fell short is a blow to a man’s pride, ego, and sometimes credibility, and that’s not easy to cope with. Maybe you’ve experienced financial failure, parental failure, infidelity, or even sexual failure, but the good news is that no matter the failure we can still become the husbands our wives deserve.

1. Own up to being wrong

We all know step one is for us to get out of denial and just admit to the failure or wrong doing. Maybe you lost some of the family savings or got fired from the job. Maybe you haven’t been engaged with the kids or you keep missing activities. Maybe you’ve lost yourself romantically and you haven’t been satisfying her needs. No matter what, you have to start by admitting that you’ve fallen short and then you must express a desire to do and be better.

2. Ask for her input

Asking your wife for help on how to right your wrongs doesn’t make you weak… it just means you are trying to hear her and meet her needs. I know you’re expected to just have all of the answers, but that’s not reality. Ask how you can handle situations better, ask what would make her happy and satisfied, and get a clear game plan.

3. Try not to backslide

Many times we admit wrongs and then start the process of changing, but quickly fall back into old habits. The more often you backslide, the less patience she will have with you and the more credibility you will lose. When you make this decision to work towards being the husband she deserves, then stick to the script.

4. Invest in yourself

Sometimes the best and most meaningful thing you can do is take the initiative to invest in yourself in the areas you are lacking. Read books, go to conferences, join ministries, or find mentors. Whatever you have to do to improve yourself, do it! Anytime we make a decision to better ourselves the outcome is more meaningful. Your wife will probably be your biggest fan and support you every step of the way.

5. Give yourself some grace

Your wife doesn’t expect you to be perfect. You can be the husband she deserves by loving her how she needs to be loved and staying in tune with where she perceives you to be falling short. It may be simply a case of misunderstanding and miscommunication that’s causing the issue or issues that exist. We all for short, but allow yourself some mercy and don’t beat yourself up too bad. Practicing forgiveness with yourself just as important as practicing it with others.

Ups, downs, successes, failures, compromises, communication, are huge aspects of marriage and relationships. It’s all a journey, but we can always make shifts and changes towards becoming the mate that our partner in life and love deserves.