One of the top complaints often heard from married couples is feeling underappreciated. When you put in a great deal of effort to meet the needs of your spouse, hurt feelings can develop if you feel like they don’t truly recognize and appreciate what you do. Having a successful marriage and family is hard work, and although most of us don’t need anything in return for all that we do, an act of appreciation sure would be nice.
So how do you avoid having an unhappy spouse who doesn’t feel appreciated? It’s actually pretty simple. All you have to do is take the time and make the effort to show them in very small ways. And honestly, it doesn’t have to be anything big or complicated. Most people don’t require much to feel appreciated and the smallest gesture speaks volumes. Often times, a simple thank you will do.
Here are a few insanely simple ways to show your spouse that you love them and appreciate all that they do for you and your family.
Take over a household chore
If your spouse always cook or always does the laundry, it sure would mean a lot them if you would take over the task for a bit. Even in a home where household responsibilities are shared, one person can end up doing more, and getting a well-deserved break is pretty nice.
Plan something unexpected
Whether it’s a simple date night at home, or a weekend trip without the kids, show your spouse how much you appreciate everything they do by making an effort to plan something special that they just didn’t see coming.
Greet them with a smile when they come home
Nothing makes you feel under-appreciated more than being greeted with either an attitude or no emotion at all. Show your spouse how much they mean to you by actually being happy when you walk in the door and greeting them with a smile. A smile can go a really long way.
Show some affection
With the hustle and bustle of our day-to-day lives, we can pull back on affection without even realizing it. Can you imagine what it feels like if someone spends their day doing things for you here and there and you can’t even offer a hug or a kiss—especially when it looks like they need it most?
Express that you are proud of them
When someone feels like you are proud of an accomplishment they’ve achieved it shows that person you see what they are doing and you know how much it matters. That’s all everyone really wants: to feel like they matter.
Say thank you often
What ever happened to good manners? Just because someone married you doesn’t mean they should meet all your expectations without as much as a thank you. Saying thanks—often—matters a lot, and your spouse deserve to be thanked when they do things for you and your family.
Perform acts of kindness
Being kind is so easy to do and it can turn someone’s day around. Leave your spouse a note if you leave first in the morning just to express how much you love them and wish them a great day. Or maybe you can pick up your spouse’s favorite childhood candy bar the next time you run to the store. When you make the effort to make someone you love feel good, you end up feeling good, too.
Focus on the positives
No one feels appreciated when they do a lot for others but all they hear about is what they’re doing wrong. None of us are perfect, so if your spouse is trying to do their best, focus on what they do right and stop picking on what you think they are doing wrong.
Surprise them with a thoughtful gift
If your spouse likes gifts, surprise them with one. It doesn’t have to be expensive. It could be as simple as an old school picture of the two of you that you framed with a $5 frame from a local discount store. The gesture shows that the sparks are still there and it leaves your partner feeling like they really matter to you.
Challenge: How many do you already do? What did we miss? BMWK family we challenge you to do at least three things on this list today for your spouse. After you do them come back and let us know how it went in the comment section.
TWYMEIKA "JENDAYI" HILL-JONES says
7 outta 9 ain’t bad. I’m certain he would like to see more of one of the two, I dint do often. So, I accept the challenge. I’m going for it this weekend! Will holla “black” soon!
Thanks for the article! I’ve extended the challenge in our Black, Grown and Married Facebook Page!!