Life coach Gail Blanke says that: “there’s no better way to grab someone’s attention..” than to flirt. In her article, Turn on the charm –get what you want, she says:
How do you draw the line between harmless flirting and being disrespectful to your mate? I think the line is fuzzy and therefore, I do not flirt..or at least I try to make a conscious effort not to flirt. In the article, they say you should make the other person you are talking to feel like a million bucks. As a married woman, I think that would be inappropriate. Please send me your comments on this topic. Do you feel like it is OK to flirt to get what you want?
I was listening to Family Life Today (Christian talk radio show)on the radio this afternoon. The guest was Shannon Ethridge, author of numerous books and study guides including “Every Woman’s Battle”.
When she was asked if it were appropriate to flirt, married or unmarried, she responded by giving the definition of the word flirt (found in the Merriam Webster dictionary).
It means to to behave amorously without serious intent.
Her argument, which I agree with, was that it is misleading to behave in a manner with someone with whom you have no serious intent to pursue a romantic relationship. In essence, you are leading them on.
Is flirting fun? Of course it is. Is it flattering to have someone flirt with you, to show interest in you and what you say? Heck yes! On the flip side, I know I have had my feelings hurt countless times when I engaged in flirting with men and allow my emotions to take over. When the flirting stops, my esteem takes a hit.
On the flip side, I have also been the person trying to get rid of a man who just couldn’t take a hint. The flirting is over, I got my ego stroked, now beat it!
It is something I am learning how to deal with. As a single woman who is a little more reserved than the average person, flirting hasn’t been one of my strong suits to begin with. So it is easy for me to not engage in it.
I would like to hear from the more “outgoing” individuals out there.
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Flirting is no big deal. I’m sure my wife does, but I sure don’t want to see it! I flirt sometimes, but never touch. That’s the line.
I feel it’s disrespectful. My neighbors husband was joking about his wife and daughter throwing him out. While they were laughing, he looked at me straight in the eyes laughing…..”Can I move in with you Kemi?” I found it offensive coming from this elderly black man. It is always OFFENSIVE!
I was in a relationship with a man once that flirted all of the time. I have always felt it was inappropriate, but somehow I convinced myself that his flirting was harmless…because he did it with everyone.
Sometimes, people took his flirting the wrong way. There were so many times when I had people come to me telling me that he was flirting and being inappropriate. It hurt and it was embarrassing to me.
In that article, the author provides an example of how she flirted with a man outside of a taxi. She felt it was harmless because she thought she would never see that man again. But what if they did meet again… and what if her husband was with her when they met. This unknown man is going to be thinking wow..this married woman was flirting with me…she must have a bad marriage ..or she must be down with cheating.
In regards to work, it should never be necessary to flirt with your boss. You should rely on the quality of your work and your skills.
Flirting while you are in a relationship or married is disrespectful on so many levels. I don’t know how some people could think that it is not. If your mate sees that you tolerate them doing stuff like that it will escalate.
I guess I was just talking about a slight flirt, not a full on “can I move in with you?”!!
For someone to flirt with a married man or woman, single or not is highly tasteless and shows their class level. How can you attempt to taint the mind frame of an individual who’s in a “family unit”, especially when there are kids involved? The one doing the flirting truly needs to find themselve and figure out why they don’t respect themselves so much as to think to disregard commitment and all that a marriage stands for… They need to mature and give their lives to Christ, in order that they acn gain wisdom in general. Flirting with other singles however, is another thing… leave the family alone!!!
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