Do you know the song “Can You Stand The Rain” by New Edition? Try listening to the lyrics. Like me, you might find yourself suddenly relating to them!
In this article:
- An Epiphany from “Can You Stand The Rain” Lyrics
- What Goes on Behind Closed Doors
- What Goes on in a Relationship
- Expectations and Disappointments
- Storms Will Come, Get Ready for It
Can You Stand the Rain of Your Marriage?
An Epiphany from “Can You Stand The Rain” Lyrics
On a perfect day, I know that I can count on you/when that’s not possible, tell me can you weather a storm? – New Edition
I was at work one day listening to the Jukebox and New Edition’s “Can You Stand the Rain” came on. Now I can’t front, growing up I really didn’t like this song. Now don’t get it twisted, I didn’t think it was wack. But, I just didn’t love it as everybody else did. But this time, listening to the song, I heard things I never heard before.
Now, let me digress for a second. I’m not a big dude on lyrics. In fact, that’s a BIG joke in my house cause I’ll be singing a song and Tee will be like: “What did you just say? Those aren’t the words!” So in a nutshell, I kinda just make words up when I’m singing along with a song. Now when it comes to hip-hop, that’s a different story. I can spit a Big Daddy Kane or Rakim song with ease. But with R&B, let’s just say a lot of what I think people are saying, really isn’t what they’re saying.
What Goes on Behind Closed Doors
With that outta the way, while listening to “Can You Stand the Rain” this time I started hearing phrases like “storms will come, this we KNOW for sure” and I was like “hold tight, they’re talking about getting through the tough times in relationships!” Now, I’m sure most of ya’ll are like “duh, of course, that’s what they’re talking about.”
And I knew that… but they’re REALLY talking about the tough times. Then I started thinking, this came out when I was 14 and in the 9th grade, what did New Edition know about the “tough times” of a relationship? And then I started thinking, “What do WE know about the tough times of a relationship?”
I mean, who REALLY knows about getting through the tough times in a relationship? See, relationships are all about fun, sex, and going out to eat. And if we’re not having fun, sex and going out to eat, then we’re 9 times outta 10 about to break up.
So what happens when we stop having fun, sex, and going out to eat? We can’t just break up…right? We gotta fight through these tough times…right? But what experience do we have in fighting through the tough times? Cause we never did it before.
If things started going downhill in our past relationships, we deaded them. But now I can’t just dead my wife right? We did just spend $20,000 for a wedding and I just spent $5,000 for a ring, so we gotta work it out…right? But we don’t know how to work it out, cause we’ve never done it before, remember? So what do we do? Some of us try to make it happen and some of us just give up.
What Goes on in a Relationship
However, trying to do something you’ve never done is like trying to play Monopoly, but you don’t know the rules. I mean, how many times are you going to go around the board not knowing to collect $200, and you’re supposed to buy houses, and 4 houses mean you can buy a hotel, etc. etc. before you just quit? Cause if you don’t know how to play a game, it’s not fun.
And if it’s not fun, what do we do again? That’s right we quit. And this is why A LOT of marriages don’t make it. Not necessarily because we don’t wanna try (well for those who do try) but because we don’t know what to do while we’re trying. How many people actually got married thinking we’re gonna have to go through some REALLY trying times? I sure didn’t.
It was to the point I was reading a GREAT book called “Two Becoming One,” and I was reading about all of the issues he encountered in his marriage. I thought “Tee and I will never go through any of this stuff,” so I threw the book into the storage. Needless to say, after 6 months of marriage I was diggin’ that book back out!
Expectations and Disappointments
To me, life is all about expectations. Why do people hate their lives? Cause they EXPECTED things would be better. Why do people hate their jobs? Cause they EXPECTED they’d have a better job. Why do people hate their marriages? Because they EXPECTED it would be just like it was in the relationship.
They also probably expected their marriage would be just like The Cosby Show or an episode of Martin where everything is fun and games. And if there is a problem it gets worked out in 20 minutes just like Martin and Gina did or the way Michael and Jay (My Wife and Kids) did. But, those people weren’t expecting those storms to last weeks, months and sometimes, even years.
Storms Will Come, Get Ready for It
I think people get it twisted about marriage like it’s this magical thing that doesn’t mirror life. I’ve actually heard people say things like “I know life isn’t fair BUT why isn’t my marriage perfect?” Really?!?!?!?!?
So, I think once people learn your marriage is just another part of life, and you’re gonna have some good seasons AND some bad seasons (I like to call them “challenging seasons”) and when more people start having each other’s back, we’ll have more marriages lasting longer. Cause it’s not like Ronnie, Johnny, Ricky, Mike, and Ralph didn’t warn us in ’89 that storms were gonna come right? Well, let’s start getting ready for ’em.
Let’s listen to this beautiful song again courtesy of NewEditionVevo and be reminded to stay strong when the rain pours:
Couples who went through so much in the course of their relationship can definitely relate to the lyrics of “Can You Stand The Rain.” Challenges will come but if you choose to stand for marriage and your family, then you’ll come out stronger as a family. If you need to sign up for couple’s counseling, then do so. It’s better to make every effort than none at all. This guide can help you deal with and move on from painful situations with your spouse.
Do you relate with the lyrics of “Can You Stand the Rain” by New Edition? Share your thoughts in the comments section below!
Up Next: 6 Life-Changing Ways Husbands Can Conquer The Challenges Of Married Life
Editor’s Note: This post was originally published on June 17, 2013, and has been updated for quality and relevancy.
Darrell Hines says
Great article, excellent advice. I too came in my marriage thinking that I would finally have the perfect union and live happily ever after but I soon realized that in life and marriage in particular, things doesn’t always go so well and yes there have been some trying times. Still I wouldn’t change my decision for the world. The best thing I’ve ever done is to marry my beautiful, loving wife. And, the love that I have for her keeps my Faith strong in our union. I cant back out now and to be honest’ I don’t want to. She is the best thing that has ever happened to me beside me loving and accepting God as my Head. So with that being said I am so determined to love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for it and I know that I receive the same love in return. So whatever may come our way. I am here for life, I’m here to stay!
Niambi Hines says
Aww thank you baby! I love you too! We are in this together for life! XXXOOO
Anonymous says
People should never cheat when times are Rough just Remember that tough times dont last long but your loyalty is worth more than knowing you cheated stay faithful pray on your obsticles that you hurdle over them
Tanya says
I honestly feel relationships and marriage is a waste of time in today’s society everyone is busy cheating I don’t even want to be married anymore and no matter what I just feel I’m better off alone
Mimi says
Marriage is really tough I have been married for 4 years and have wanted to give up so many times but something in my heart just haven’t let me give up yet. How long will this pain last
Tonya says
I just got off the phone with him after another argument and saw this article. And I will agree that I’ve had thoughts about giving up too many times to count, to where I feel like a fool yet I’m still here knowing that he doesn’t care and is way too selfish to see any wrong that he does. He proclaims to care yet he’s actions says otherwise . I also pray for God lead me in the right direction. I don’t know if seeing this article was a sign from God to give up or is it just me too afraid to let go?
Margie says
Yes, I too have had some trying times. I try to be the wife and encourage my husband through our difficult times. Most of the time it be the wrong decisions made that cause our problems but through it all I pray that God have mercy and we press on. I made my vows to God that I will stand beside him through good or bad, for better or worse. So I trust and believe things will get better and we both will have a powerful testimony one day.This article encouraged me even more. I will stand the rain.