Shacking up is not the same as being married. Some think the only difference is a piece of paper. But that piece of paper holds a lot of weight. It is proof that you are bound together legally and God recognizes the union. Below are five reasons marriage is better than shacking.
- God ordains marriage not shacking. Marriage is a covenant between you, your spouse and Him. When you face problems in your marriage, and you will, you are able to pray about the situation and God will answer because He is for marriage. The marriage covenant holds you accountable to each other. During the rough patches in your marriage, remembering your vows can encourage you to work on the relationship.
- You’re more likely to work harder on the marriage because there are legal and financial consequences if you separate. Once you’re married you won’t be so quick to leave the relationship when you hit a rough patch. Instead you will be compelled to work out the differences that arise.
- You are emotionally comfortable. You can rest knowing that your spouse loved you enough to take the step to marry you. One felt strongly enough to propose and the other felt strongly enough to accept. You put your faith in each other to satisfy each other’s needs for the rest of your lives. That is saying a lot.
- You have someone who has your back. You can rest assured that your spouse has your best interests in mind. If you are just shacking, you really don’t have that security because someone could ask for their door key at any time.
- There is financial gain in marriage. During tax time there are more benefits for married couples than for singles. Also in a marriage you are more likely to share income whereas shacking couples may wish to maintain their own separate accounts.
If you are in a relationship and want to wake up to your significant other daily, consider marriage rather than shacking. If you are not ready to commit to marriage, I feel you should live separately until you are ready for the commitment.
BMWK what are your thoughts? Do you think marriage is better than shacking? Did you live together before marriage? If so, what are your thoughts on the topic?
J. Crawford says
A few things:
1) God ordains marriage not shacking- so then Agnostics and Atheists Can’t Get Married??? and also, one doesn’t have to wed in a chruch to “get married”, as a couple can go to a Courthouse to get a Marriage Licesnse. No License, No #5- “financial gains” of a Marriage
2)You’re more likely to work harder on the marriage because there are legal and financial consequences if you separate- People Leave/File for Divorce for many trivial and “petty” reasons, as For Better or Worse is merely a Catchphrase portion of the Marriage Vows than Actual Practice. If folks WERE taking that apart seriously Marriage/Divorce rates would be 50%
3)You are emotionally comfortable- Simple Fact is that, like College Isn’t for Everyone and Parethood Isn’t for Everyone, neither is Marriage
4)You have someone who has your back- Friends and relatives also “have your back”, so that doesn’t really mean anything. A person who Loves you SHOULD have your back, or else Why Love Them
5)There is financial gain in marriage- the only Solid I Agree with
People have Free Will to make whatever choices they make for Their Relationship, and in al honesty the Same Vices couples face as a non-married Couple are the Same for Spouses, no Title or Covenant changes that or makes them “different”. For Some, Abstinence is the way to go, for Others, Sex is an important factor in a relationship- not The Factor.
J. Crawford says
My apologies for the typos; (* part, not be, Parenthood, all
Dcp says
Stop being so hostile. OBVIOUSLY this article is from HER experience & HER point of view that all relates back to HER life… Just as your opinions reflect YOU SMH
Anonymous says
Agreed.
J. Crawford says
The post was not addressed by “Her’ POV, it was written as a Generalized Statement……….. And My Reponse was as well….. I can Comprehend just fine
Anonymous says
point 1 : If you are agnostic or atheist why get married ? Marriage is a covenant in front of God. if they wanna give their lives to Christ and get married go for it! If not, then then they should just sign the forms simple. , but as this page in Christian based, marriages will still be shacking up in God’s eyes unless they take vows. which normally happens in a church.
3:If marriage isnt for you, then why get involved in that sort of way with someone?It makes no sense to keep being with different people “just because..” especially with STD and so many other factors e.g family, children etc. In every relationship, its one of the essential things that should be discussed BEFORE things get serious. If they want to keep on dating forever.. they should still discuss it on a serious level and consider things like long time then say… they start buying a house then break up – who gets the house or the assets ? Its quite a long process and can be VERY expensive.
point 2: Marriage isnt a small choice at all. That’s why you should really consider counselling before you get into it. there is so much that people miss by not sitting down with people who have been married for ages or taking on councelling. If marriage isnt for you , then dont do it. simple. Its really important to get informed.
4: Yes , friends and relatives have your back but some people want a life companion. not just a friend . Some people what to have children and wed to settle down with someone. Not everyone want to rely on just family and friends some of us have people who we want to marry, stay committed to and have children with …i think you can agree that it would be strange to have children with family or just a friend who you cant really show love to to show your child how to love their partner .
This page is to encourage people to stay committed and STAY together in a MARRIAGE. Bare that in mind. I get where your coming from but at the same time you need to remember what this page is for – reducing divorces and promoting Godly marriages .
Im not saying this in a bashing sort of way ( sorry if it comes across that way) but just bare that in mind.
Uniqueka says
Never shacking again that’s for sure. However I will say don’t get married just because you are tired if shacking versus simply deciding marriage is a good next step. Bad boyfriends and fiances make bad husbands too.
Uniqueka says
*of
Porsche says
The only thing I would change is the religion part in #1. We don’t all have the same religion so to just use the word God is leaving out others. It was a nice article but I still think there are valid reasons to live together before committing. Like one person said the divorce rate is hiked because of trivial reasons. knowing you can live with someone before marriage is a good idea that may work for some.
Crystal says
statistics show that the divorce rate is higher amongst those who shack first versus those who don’t
Realisticlwoman says
Please provide evidence of those stats. Many stay in bad situations for the sake of saving face or family name.
Honest LOVE is the key to every marriage. Not loving for physical emotional or financial reasons. Finding something strong that binds you together matters.
the girl says
If you are getting married for God, you don’t need a piece of paper. You just need a spiritual ceremony. Once we start talking about legal stuff and tax breaks, we are talking about a whole other thing.
Two people have to define their relationship on their own terms. Our marriage has to be what we say it is, not what other people expect it to be.
Anonymous says
God may ordain marriages. But that doesn’t mean he ordains EVERY marriage. Some people have no business being in a relationship, much less married to one another, and I’m pretty sure god is not in those marriages.
Tammy says
I know that’s right!
ALS says
Our Father is a gentleman and he only joins when you invite him in. So for you to say he’s not apart of a marriage because the two people appear to not need to be married in your eyes is ridiculous. Only the two individuals that’s married would know if God is in there marriage and it only takes one to invite him in. What people need to do is pray for God will and not theirs. Because prayer changes things.
J. Crawford says
Thank You!!
Ray says
If you are getting married whether it’s for God or not, you still need a piece of paper. It’s calledva marriage license. The ceremony means nothing if you are not recognized by the state you live in as married.
marlene says
the bottom line is people will do whatever it is they want to do God or no God. those of us who follow God will live according to his principles and those who don’t simply won’t. so why entertain some of these responses Godless people have Godless reactions to this article! marriage is an institution ordained by God man decided to use it for legal reasons in this world today but it is still an institution ordained by God. and when our time comes each of us will stand before God an answer for every word every deed every action and every marriage
Kevin says
Great post. That #1 reason is enough but the other are true as well.
Gary Scott says
I have news for everyone. Shacking as we call it is not even mentioned in God’s word. It’s definition. Is not even in God’s word. People really need to read their bible and pray for understanding. What we believe about marriage is misguided, Amercanized bullcrap. We’d gain a better understanding by studying by studying the history of fornication and sexual immorality and from this you will understand when a marriage actually occurs. It has nothing to do with a wedding. Wedding vows that we are accustomed to reciting are not even in the bible. We need to question what has been passed down to us. The old testament is for our learning people. Read it please.
Shy Fran says
Shacking is not in the bible but “shacking” implies fornication due to the absence of a marriage. And let’s keep it real. Most people in a relationship will fornicate so it’s naive to think most ppl shacking will not do the same….most, not all.
Can you elaborate on what we are missing from the Old Testament & how today’s view of marriage is misguided compared to what the bible prescribes?
Jessica says
There are many statistics that disagree with your statement by saying that shacking before marriage is not the best idea.