We are happy to introduce you to our 2nd wedding blogger in two years Gwen (our last blogger Jonesi got married a few months back). Gwen (who’s no stranger to BMWK) didn’t get the memo that successful black women aren’t supposed to be able to find men and recently got engaged. Over the next10 months or so she’ll take us along as she plans for one of the biggest days of her life. Enjoy the ride!
On Sept 5, 2010, I will be a married woman. Engaged to my soul mate as of 10/24/09 at 8:34pm. (yes, I am one of those people).
And it’s about time, too. I wrote the book on finding and sustaining happy, healthy relationships”...literally (check me out: https://bit.ly/5VVHn6 Shameless plug, I know!). So it stands to reason that I should have taken my own advice and experiences, and channeled them into something tangible for myself.
So far, I’ve got my colors, my gown, my venues, my party, some vendors, but I still have a ton of work left to do. Here’s the backstory…
I met my boo over a year ago on”...wait for it”...PlentyOfFish.com. I know what you may be thinking, ’cause I was sure thinking it too. Funny thing is, I met him on a total fluke. While in D.C. for an event, I happened to pass a Hudson News store at the train station, where a Newsweek magazine cover displayed a free dating website that was ranking up a ton of traffic and surpassing paid sites like Match.com and eHarmony.com in terms of reported successful relationships. This piqued my interest for two reasons. 1.) because I work in digital communications, so the online traffic and success rate was super interesting and 2.) because one of my very best friends constantly complains about not finding the right woman, how he’s been single for umpteen years, how he’s tired of the bar scene and sick of paying for online dating sites, only to end up with nothing more than an overdrawn bank account. I immediately called my boy and told him to check this site out. He retorted, again, that he’d grown irritated with online dating. But what did he have to lose? It was free! So, he informed me that he’d only join if I joined. And that’s where the story begins.
Now, I am a complete grammar freak. Nothing irks me more than seeing one of “us” try to sound super educated with a bunch of misspelled words and incorrect grammar on a document, webpage, what-have-you. And trust me”...there was PLENTY of that on Plenty Of Fish. So when I spotted my soon-to-be boyfriend’s page – grammatically clean, error-free and well-written, I had to hit that brother up. (Clearly, it’s little things that turn me on. Ha!) Nothing special or cutesy. In fact, it was extra short and pretty form letter-like. Nevertheless, he took the bait. (Yes, pun intended.)
Over the course of a few months, we talked through the site for a while. That evolved into chatting via AIM, which eventually opted him to ask for my number. We’d talk on the phone for, literally, at least 7 hours every single night. We were pretty pathetic (in a good way). You know how when you’re a teen and you call yourself being “in love””...how you don’t want to get off the phone…so you fall asleep while still on the phone with your boyfriend/girlfriend? That was us. Except we were 26 and 29.
I could go on and on forever about the little details (which make me smile, but will more than likely make you snore). It’s uncanny how well we fit (even our names fit perfectly together: Gwen + Endion = Gwendion”...corny, I know, but whatevs), how he is the male version of me, how we’re both Geminis (and they say Geminis don’t get along), how our birthdays are two weeks to the day apart, how we’re both so incredibly close to our families, there’s just too much to list, so I’ll stop there.
Now, as you may know, Jonesi was the previous blogging soon-to-be bride, and now that she’s all happily and newly wed, I’ve been asked to pick up where she left off. Whoo, those are some big shoes to fill (not literally, of course). I only hope I can be as fly, funny, cool and candid as she was. Here goes nothin'”...
Yay! Now I don’t have to hound you for updates! LOL
Congrats again on the engagement. I’m soo happy for you and I LOVE that your names go so well together 🙂
.-= Tara´s last blog ..give a little, get a lot =-.
I’m so excited for “Gwendion!” Thanks for your willingness to take us along for the trip (now if only I could fit in your suitcase for that great trip you’re taking for the honeymoon). LOL
.-= Harriet´s last blog ..In Transition =-.
Wow Gwen…I am excited about you doing this wedding journel…I know it will be great!! I already have lots questions. Like was this a long distance relationship?
Lamar and I spent hours talking on the phone when we first started dating because of the distance. I really think all of the communication helped to strengthen our bond. We spent hours talking about everything from past relationships …….to credit. Now that I look back on it I think all of that talking on the phone in the beginning was good for us….more people should do that instead of rushing in to “physically” being together all of the time..where you may not be communicating as much..you may be watching tv or out on dates or doing other things…but perhaps not communicating as much.
I can’t wait until your next post.
Congratulations! I look forward to following your journey 🙂
Thanks everybody! I’m really excited to write about all that’s going on!
@Ronnie – ask away! We didn’t technically have a long distance relationship. Both of us are from Cleveland and were living in the area when we met. In fact, one of my bridesmaids husbands is an old coworker of my fiancee’s. Our parents live within 10 min of each other. It’s crazy. I didn’t want to meet him in person from the get. I wanted to make sure I felt him out to determine if a face-to-face was even worth my time. We spent about 2 and a half months talking daily before we met in person. I totally agree that meeting the mind of the person is a very good thing to do if you have the option b/c you get to know their inner workings without the temptation of the physical clouding your better judgement.
Congratulations on your engagement. I especially liked the part about you both being very close to your families. My Bride’s family accepted me from day one and it’s one of my favorite things about being married. Watching my inlaws have fun at our wedding, was definitely a highlight of our big day for me.
.-= Mike´s last blog ..Can we adopt a monkey? =-.
Congratulations Gwen!
@Ronnie – my relationship was the same way….communication was the key that opened the door.
.-= CS´s last blog ..Product Review: Shescentit Moisture Mist and Green Grape Leave In =-.
Congratulations on your engagement!!! Looking forward to sharing your journey with you! Good luck on all that planning, you are light years ahead of where I was at the same time LOL!!!
YAY to the Gwendions 🙂 and I’m so excited to follow your journey. You seem to be in a much better place than I was initially – and I wasn’t having doubts…I was just in an overwhelming season of growth and I completely shutdown 🙁 (Sorry Ronnie and Lamar). Oh.Em.Gee…I can’t tell you all how much off site talk time Harriet and I had and she was truly a blessing with her words of encouragement and wisdom. Oh, and Tara is my young mommy idol so really, I stalked the site to read things to get through my own issues but I couldn’t physically write. I was scared out of my mind and I couldn’t figure out of what…but the marriage train hit me after the engagement glow faded away quickly (lol)…and besides marrying my homie (hehe), it was the best breakdown/experience of my life.
What I want to say Gwen is ENJOY every minute…ok I know you will hear that a million times, but I did find myself wrapped up in others people’s issues and drama and it did put a very small dent in my experience, but it is just a day, a beautiful one, but focus on grooming each other. One thing I didn’t really do was over stress about wedding details. Besides the fact that I couldn’t handle it, I didn’t want to be wrapped in the details to the point that it would overshadow what the whole experience was about.
I look back on that day and though I have some things I could dwell on, I am just so thankful for my husband….and literally, nothing else matters! We are happy, healthy and in love…content…and that’s what it’s all about 🙂
I am SOOOOO excited for you AND shout-out to East Cleveland (my other home) 🙂
WOW!! Totally love the story!! Im from Cleveland too!! Heyyy!!
I look forward to reading your journey. I also agree with the meeting of the minds..My longest relationship was long distance-Virginia & Japan.
AWWWWWWWWWW. quite effy about internet dating but i guess its working…
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Along On The Trip To The Altar | BlackandMarriedWithKids.com
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