PSA: The male emotions and ego must be handled with care. Ok, ok, ok let me back up before some of you ladies get to thinking “aww another article about how sensitive men are!
Well, the truth of the matter is, that article received thousands and thousands of views because it touched on topics that many of your men wanted to tell you. However, they didn’t tell you mainly because they didn’t want you to see them as soft (you can tell by the comments why they had such fear).
Well ladies, the truth of the matter is, we, men, should feel that the women we choose to be our mates and our wives is the safest to be the most vulnerable; but it is also the place where we know we can easily be hurt the most. You’re the one person that knows us better than anyone else, but even you may not know how much the following things can hurt him:
1) When you disrespect him in public
No man wants to be embarrassed or disrespected by his wife and especially in the company of others.
One of the worst things you can do to your man is call him out, or discredit him in front of others.
Sometimes I see women seriously just talk down or at their men in public and, although many times they try to laugh it off, folks can see right through it. Your man needs respect more than anything else and if you are going to do anything then praise him in public instead of downing him. While you may have some issues on the home front, but handle those issues on the home front instead of letting them spill out into the streets.
2) Always assuming the worst in him
If your man is pretty consistent in his behaviors, has shown you that he has your best interest at heart and yet you always seem to assume the worst about him, then he will have a problem.
- If he didn’t answer the phone, you assume he was with another woman;
- if he didn’t complete everything on the “honey dew” list you assume he doesn’t care about your needs.
- If he makes a mistake, you say it’s what he “ALWAYS” does when in reality it’s not something he does that often.
Your man wants to please you but he can’t please you if you don’t trust that he is trying to do right by you and that he wants to do right by you.
3) Questioning his abilities
Ladies sometimes what you view as “helping” him comes off as questioning his abilities. For example – you ask him to fix something or put something together and he says he is going to take care of it. Then, when he goes to take care of it, you are constantly trying to tell him how to do it or you’re trying to call other people to help him do it.
Look, once you ask him to do it and he says he has it handled, let him handle it. If he can’t figure it out, then he should humble himself enough to try to get help, but he doesn’t need you questioning his abilities from the sideline.
Let go of your need to control every part of the process as it will let him know that you trust him and he will do what it takes to get it right in order to please you.
4) Questioning his authority in front of the kids
Just like a man needs respect from his wife, he needs it from his kids as well. The easiest way for that respect to be undermined is if his wife questions him in front of his kids. Your man might not always get it right, but criticizing and questioning his decisions in front of the children will almost always end in a defensive disagreement or him shutting down on wanting to take any initiative.
It’s okay to not agree with everything your man does or how he does it, but the time or place to express that isn’t in front of his children. I’m pretty sure you don’t want him doing that to you either.
Is it possible to wear your man down? Here are 5 legitimate reasons he could be tired and you don’t realize it.
Bottom line is that men need to feel respected in order to feel loved; secondly, what must be understood is that men and women are different. Men respond to things differently and have different insecurities, fears, and needs as well.
Just as men must seek to understand women, women must do the same and we must meet somewhere in the middle so that we have healthier relationships and marriages.
BMWK family, what’s 1 HUGE thing that you wish your man or woman knew that bothers you more than they know?
My wife thinks this a bunch of nonsense. She does all these things with no sign of remorse or consideration for what it does
Your wife knows it’s true just not willing to admit. It’s very true and Women wonder why men sometimes look outside of the household well if you’re constantly disrespecting him and he comes across somebody who isn’t what do you think is going to happen
Treat people the way you want to be treated and none of this is an issue for Man or for Women.however for the purposes of this article ladies if you don’t feel you need to respect your man or his thoughts are his opinions and you just want to demean him then you should probably be by yourself. Man or woman being treated that way will seek the attention elsewhere
Oscar thats unfortunate that you wife isn’t a little more open minded to understanding how these things affect you. I hope that she will open her heart and mind instead of instantly being defensive. Keep communicating and keep doing your part. Thanks for reading!
This article is on point. By all of the responses so far, it goes to show that a lot of black women don’t care if they are disrespecting or mistreating their man because they will always say what about a woman crap. You won’t get respect if you don’t care to give respect to him. Too many women today are selfish and feel entitled which is very different from our women ancestors who were very unselfish and giving to their men which is one reason why the community was strong and black men respected those black women.
Well I for one was very respectful and never mistreated him but he had the selfishness/entitlement issues and one of the worse attitudes ever. I ask for that type of article because our tables were turned.
Thanks for reading and commenting Andrew!
It took a very loving and kind man to take away all the insecurities and make me want to get it right. Everything I thought I knew about love and relationships went out of the window. We started from scratch. To listen to his wants and needs, his dreams and prayers, this is the first step…
Amina thanks for reading and commenting! I’m so happy to hear that you met that type of man. That great news!