Next to every great man is a great woman. This is no coincidence. As humans we still validate one another. We do that by whom we choose to keep around us, whom we elevate with our words, with whom we decide to spend time, who we cut down with hate, who we invite to the party, and ultimately whom we decide to have children with.
Who do we champion in our lives?
We are all full of potential. Throughout history the common denominator underscoring a person’s great accomplishments was simply a person standing by their side to encourage the individual into their greatest self.
Imagine the youth with no one around to champion who they are. Is it still possible for them to become their greatest self? Sure. But are the odds better for the young person with a strong and honest support system?
Men are the same way. Many of us reach our greatest self under the nurturing of life given to us by our most trusted partner.
- She speaks life into us.
- She kisses passion into us.
- She loves through the layers of dysfunction, because she knows the core of greatness that lies underneath.
- She loves the man as he’s unable to love himself because he lacks the perspective she does.
And a woman who values herself and is aware of her power also invests that power into a worthy man. The man who realizes that it is he who has been chosen by a her, a woman of such power, then can choose to rise into the person she sees inside of him. Or, he can reject it.
It’s the crux of frustration in millions of relationships. She sees the greatness in him that he cannot see in himself. She commits herself to the potential rather than the reality. He fails to live up to her image and is caught in the cycle of perceived failure. He eventually feels hopeless and resentful to the pedestal she has placed him on.
There’s a difference between a cheerleader and a quarterback.
Who is playing which role? Millions of women resentfully take up the role of quarterback in a relationship, while still searching for another another quarterback to champion. It can be another vicious cycle.
Most men need the the validation of their women. If for no other reason than the fact that we truly value and care about how you see us in the world. We want our women to be proud of who we are and what we represent – we value your opinion.
A man could have all the potential in the world but still be left to wither and die without someone there to nurture his spirit, ambition, and intentions. Don’t get me wrong, if a man falters along his path of life, the blame most likely lies directly at his own feet. But are the odds better for the man who has the supportive wisdom of a woman at his side?
Ladies, we could all use a cheerleader.
Fellas, we still have to give her something to cheer for.
BMWK, are you living up to the challenge of your role?
Finally says
So true. Thank you. Trust that we desire to be your cheerleaders, but you have to stay committed to OUR game, OUR home, OUR family. Not give your best to your work, or your boys, sports, acquisition of things, work, your mom/family, sports, acquisition of things, work, and leave us, your chosen family, with the leftovers. Balance…balance, balance, balance…is key. We want you have/experience all those things. BUT, your treasure should be at home. That’s how you are OUR superhero, our champion, build cmmunities, leave an admirable legacy.
MyTwoCents says
Well said! A husband has to be advancing for the benefit of the whole team (wife & children) if he wants them to cheer for him. It’s hard to support someone who’s really not there for you.
David says
It’s a catch 22. Don’t set him up for failure in your own mind through unrealistic goals and fantasy thoughts about who is supposed to be. You cheer for the player even when the team is losing. Not only when winning. It’s easy to cheer when everything is great. But the cheer matters most when the times get tough. At the same time men need to value the cheerleader and not blame them for their own losses. Some losses are learning moments to be utilized in the future by inspiration and pure ambition not to make the same mistakes over and over. They are only mistakes if you continue to repeat them. Other than that every loss is education in action learning what does and does not work for you.
Play your role to the fullest and do not use others as an excuse to not be your very best!
Isom Kuade says
Balance is often the most difficult task to master in a world where everything demands our attention. Thanks for reading.
EverEvolving says
It’s like this article mined my very thoughts! I think women often sell themselves so short in this regard. It’s up to each man to either accept or reject the responsibilities that accompany the expectations of greatness. Not every male is prepared for this responsibility. Ladies, be selective, require goals, motivations, and a PLAN.
Often, the commitment men give is a reflection of the investment his woman has placed in the advancement of his ego. I think it’s true in both successful and unsuccessful relationships. Some men need more than others, some need different things, but they all need validation from a significant other, and more specifically, they need ENOUGH validation, as defined by THEIR standard of enough. When that validation is absent or insufficient to meet the standard, the doors of opportunity swing open for another to intervene and fill the void. Choose a man who knows how to define his ENOUGH, combine it with a commitment from a significant other to meeting that standard, and I’m willing to bet you will find a man who is committed to the relationship and enthusiastic about embracing the responsibilities that come along with it.
Isom Kuade says
So true. The choice on behalf of the man AND the woman is paramount. This can’t be overstated enough. Thanks for joining the discussion.