I am big on asking my husband for help. I’m not bragging because I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I would get mad and frustrated because I felt like this dude would sit and watch me struggle to keep up with things. I remember thinking, “is he blind?” He wasn’t. He just wasn’t look at things from my perspective. What was causing me stress wasn’t even on his radar.

Once I realized that, I started asking for help, and he started giving it… happily. It’s rare that I ask my husband to do something that he won’t do. The answer isn’t always yes, but when it’s a no, he has good reason and I just figure things out from there.

The holiday season is a busy time for so many of us. If we try to do it all alone, we are sure to lose our minds. I have no question about that. There really is no glory in doing it all on your own. Trying to be superwoman will surely lead to being overstressed and feeling underappreciated.

So what can you do to turn things around and make this the holiday season where you actually get enough rest to enjoy the festivities? You need to ask for help. Stop expecting your husband to read your mind. He can’t. And stop trying to do it all on your own. It’s not a badge of honor and it just leads to more problems.

Here are 5 simple things you can ask your husband to help with this holiday season. He may not always do it your way, but just be happy and grateful if it gets done. When you have support available and you refuse to ask for it, the problem isn’t the other person. The problem is you.

Plan some of your family meals

If you have a husband that’s happy to cook, you can skip this section. However, if your husband either can’t cook, or really doesn’t like to, I need you to ask him to step up and help. Give him certain days when he is responsible for dinner and just let it go.

I promise he won’t let your family starve. Will the meals always be what you want them to be? Probably not, but that’s okay. This is one of the busiest months of the year, and having the perfect meal on the table each night is not a must.

Feel free to share a few parameters (we can only buy out 2 times a week, or no greasy fast food), but aside from that, let him roll with it and be grateful.

Buy some of the gifts for the kids and other family members

Are you the one and only Santa in your home? Don’t do it. Let your husband jump online and make things happen. Give him an ordering deadline if you feel the need, and let him play Santa for once.

Oh, and this includes gift-wrapping. There is nothing wrong with cute gift bags and tissue paper. Don’t expect him to do it your way. Just ask him to do it with love.

Take the kids out so you can get a few things done

A few hours in the house alone is some powerful stuff. Ask your husband to take the kids to the movies or out to eat so you ca have some quiet time to get a few things done, or just enjoy a book and a bubble bath.

Don’t feel guilty. You are entitled to some rest and relaxation and children benefit from spending time alone with their dad. Your husband will probably be happy to meet this request and the kids will have a good time.

Go grocery shopping

I’ve heard women say that their man can’t grocery shop, but that seems insulting to me. Yes he can! It’s not rocket science. Hand him a list and send him on his way.

He will be just fine. Having him take over this task for a few weeks will make life so much easier. And if you just prefer to do the larger shopping on your own, have him make all the smaller in between trips for you. With a list in hand, he can’t go wrong (well at least not that wrong).

Wash and fold clothes

Laundry is the biggest pain in my side. And it’s not just the washing. Honestly, that is the easy part. It’s the folding. It feels like the folding never ends.

Ask your husband to help out. Maybe you can split the chore, or you can alternate weeks, but don’t struggle trying to keep up with all that laundry on your own. Just remind him that happy wives are not folding laundry all day, every day. Who on earth wants to do that?

BMWK ladies, what can you ask your man to help you with this holiday season?