It’s a total waste of time to try and make your spouse or your relationship perfect. There will be times when all you can do is pray.
This is just a nugget of wisdom my husband and I share with couples during pre-marital and marital counseling. In particular, the engaged couples who only see roses and rainbows need to know that their marriage will be far from perfect. Although it might feel pretty close to it as they imagine spending the rest of their lives with someone they’ve only known a few years (maybe less), at least they can refer back to their counseling notes to find the statement:
A powerful marriage is better than a perfect marriage.
Imperfections are a part of life and marriage. After 17 years of marriage, my husband and I accept imperfections, but what we don’t accept is impotence, also known as powerlessness. I am not talking about sexual powerlessness, but rather spiritual powerlessness.
Spiritual powerlessness will be the death of your marriage NOT imperfections. How so?
Well, somebody, preferably both spouses, need to know how to operate in the spirit and pray your way through the hard times.
- Somebody needs to know how to walk by faith and not by sight, because some days things won’t look as good as you would hope.
- Somebody needs to understand the power of speaking life into the marriage, so you don’t kill your union with your own words.
- Somebody needs to know God used imperfect people to do great things, and he can use an imperfect marriage too.
- Somebody needs to be a spiritual warrior in the family when the other person is low on faith.
- Somebody needs to be able to look beyond the flesh and see the spirit of the other person. When you see your spouse’s spirit, you see the best that God has put in him/her.
- Somebody needs to grab hold to the power that God has given you to move mountains and rebuke devils.
- Somebody needs to know that you are not powerless. In fact, you have more power than you even know, if only you would tap into it and then use it correctly.
I repeat, spiritual powerlessness will kill your marriage before your spouse’s imperfections. We all make mistakes in life. We all have flaws. We all fall short. No one is going to get it right all the time. But, our spiritual power makes up for our natural weaknesses.
So, I encourage you not to waste time arguing about and obsessing over each others’ flaws. Try to come to an agreement and compromise the best you can by way of love, and then move on. Because here is what I have found out, when you allow the power of the Holy Spirit in your marriage, it will change you and your spouse for the better anyway.
BMWK, how do you integrate spiritual power in your marriage?
This is wonderful and so true! I vowed to see the best in my husband as I did some scripture study the morning of our wedding. Because I know that the Lord can do all things, I know that with Him marriage can get through anything. My husband and I subscribe to the basic principles of the gospel to have spiritual power in our marriage. We pray individually and as a couple, we have personal and couple scripture study, we fast once a month, and we have Friday as our date night and one of those dates is dedicated to temple worship as a couple. All of these things help us stay close and open in the gospel. As our family grows we also have made a point to sit next to each other during our church meeting instead of putting the children in between us. It seems small, but it’s the small things that are the big things. I love my husband and our marriage and we stand strong today because of our Heavenly Father and because we are following His plan.
I thought I was the only one who felt that spouses should sit next to each other.
My husband has me sit next to him, too. So important!!
This is SO good! I really enjoy reading everything you write because you are a teacher! I always take away something I can use. Even though I am not married yet, this is a great teaching tool. Those of us desiring to be married must go into marriage with realistic expectations and this gives us the real deal.
I’m glad the articles speak to you Tamara. More importantly, you are preparing for marriage the right now.
God bless.
All good! I’m not married, but will be this year, and I thank God for you’ll.
God bless you Shavonda.
Your articles are always great, inspiring, and informative. Do take/receive personal questions via email?
Thank you. Click on connect with Dr. Michelle.
Thanks! I don’t see a link for “connect” with Dr. Michelle. Should I send a message via Alabaster Women Ministries website? I wasn’t sure if I should use that?
Through the website is fine, or FB inbox.
I truly appreciate pretty much all of your article. They have helped me and blessed me so. I recently joined your personal website and I wrote something to you. I haven’t received a response back yet, I sure you have other things to attend to. I hope to hear from you soon. God blessed
I truly appreciate pretty much all of your article. They have helped me and blessed me so. I recently joined your personal website and I wrote something to you. I haven’t received a response back yet, I’m sure you have other things to attend to. I hope to hear from you soon. God bless
Hello Tanieka,
It’s wonderful that the articles bless you. And thanks for reading and reaching out. I will double check for your submission to the website.
Take care
Dr. Johnson, I really enjoy your articles and you are speaking some truth for real. When you say somebody, unfortunately most of the time its the woman who has to endure, pray and seek help either through counseling or through God. The old school women were equipped to deal with that better because they were normally at home with the kids and the husband worked. But now, it is so much on our plates to handle, raising the kids, working, cooking, finances and having the heartbeat of the family. We alot times are so warn out that enduring our imperfect marriages is so difficult. God is perfect of course and can see us through anything, I can testify to that LOL… Just my opinion! God bless and thanks!!
Hi GeeGee,
I hear that from a lot of women. Nevertheless, we press on, right and do what we have to do. I am blessed to have a husband who knows the power of God, too. When two walk together they must agree. It took us some time to get there though.
Thanks for your comment. I enjoyed it.
Hi Dr Michelle
I really enjoy reading your article keep it up it helps a lot even though i’m not married but I gain a lot
Thanks so much. Glad they bless you.
This article was beautiful, about the husband and wife having date night. Also, praying together is wonderful as well. Fasting will make you stronger.