Dear Dr. Buckingham, I'm a young, single, and soulful black male who is attractive according to my female friends. I get a lot of girls’ numbers, but I can never seem to get past the first date. I grew up in a religious household, but other Christian girls won't give me the time of day. I embrace the essence of life and I am a passionate young man. I do not understand what I … [Read more...]
My Fiancée is a Nervous Wreck: Can Therapy or Medication Fix Her Anxious Behavior?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My fiancée has issues with anxiety and I am not sure if I can cope with her issue for a lifetime. She is always anxious and her moodiness is driving me crazy. Whenever she feels overwhelmed, she shuts down and becomes unproductive. I asked her if we could start planning our wedding and she stated, “I got too much going on right now.” I am not sure what … [Read more...]
Help! My Son is Picking Up Bad Habits from His Father… What Should I Do?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My 8-year-old son has recently started to act out in a very aggressive manner toward female children at school. His temper is getting worse by the day. Initially, I did not understand where he was learning the behavior. However, after talking to the school therapist, I learned that he might be picking up the behavior from my husband. My husband is a … [Read more...]
Is He Soulmate Material? Here’s How You Can Tell
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been in a relationship for 6 years. It started out wrong because my partner and I were both going through separations. We both agreed that we wanted to do things right by completely divorcing and then getting married one year later. I divorced first, but my partner started a new relationship behind my back. Within the last year, he has moved in … [Read more...]
Can a Marriage Survive Infidelity That Results in Childbirth?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I was reading one of your articles online at Black and Married With Kids. I have a question and/or need some direction on where to go for help in restoring my two year old marriage. My husband told me of the affair two days post our annual anniversary trip with two other couples/friends. The news came to him by way of another couple that we know. A … [Read more...]
How Do I Make My Marriage Work When Finances are Not Working?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I need help and fast, I been married 2 years and financially my husband and I are unstable He has an ex wife and a child with her. I have two from a previous relationship and we have a child together. A few years ago I picked up and moved so we could be closer to his daughter. Things didn't work out so we moved back to my hometown. Before I met my … [Read more...]
How Do I Get My Boyfriend To Stand Up for Me?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been dealing with an issue for quite some time now and find myself in need of some advice. My boyfriend and I have been in a long distance relationship for 2 1/2 years now. He is a Marine. Since the beginning of the relationship, his mother has been jealous, possessive and rude toward me. She was not excited that her son was spending time with … [Read more...]
The NFL Season is Turning Me Against My Husband. Am I Overreacting?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband and his friends range from 40-52 (All married or living with someone). During football season, they turn into drunken clowns and buffoons. They use the NFL as an excuse to drink excessively and hang out 8+ hours every Sunday. They all drink and drive and have a CDL license. I can't take it anymore! Now it's spilling over to Thursday nights … [Read more...]
Racial Tension is Hurting My Marriage: How Can I Support My Black Husband?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have been reading your articles for some time and decided to write because I feel that you are a logical professional who gives good practical guidance. I am a white woman and I am married to a black man. We have been married for ten years and have two wonderful children. I love my children and my husband, but our marriage is in trouble because of the … [Read more...]
How Do I Forgive My Cheating Husband after 8 Years
Therapists like myself help people develop new coping skills, adapt to change, and grow from adversity. I make this statement to help you understand that there is no such thing as “fixing” people. However, based on the fact that you are still holding on to the pain of betrayal and being dishonest with your husband, you should seek professional counseling. The only … [Read more...]
Who Should I Live My Life For So that I Can Achieve Marital Happiness?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am writing because I am confused about how I should live my life. I am a 25 year old African American male and I am finding it more and more difficult to live a life of unhappiness. I do not have any really good role models. Recently, I got married and continue to struggle. I cannot figure out how I should be living my life. My wife is demanding and … [Read more...]
Can Two Broken People Make Marriage Work?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, My husband and myself have been together 15 years, married 10, with two beautiful children. I have had several emotional affairs, two were sexual.He has caught me every time. In the last two affairs though, I felt done with the marriage. I was the working parent struggling mentally and physically. He did nothing but took care of the kids, no housework, … [Read more...]
My Fiancé is Dating Another Woman. Do You Think That I Should Marry Him?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I have this boyfriend that I have been dating for almost three years now and we are planning to settle down. Recently, I found out that he has been dating several females. He told me that he could date several women because I have not made up my mind to marry him. After I told him that I was ready to marry him I found out that another girl called him and … [Read more...]
How Do I Deal with My Unemployed, Babies’ Father?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I've been with my babies' father for five years now. Throughout the five years that we have been together, he has never been able to keep a job for more than three months. We have two little boys and I stopped working when I got pregnant the first time. I would look for a job, but when I was working in the beginning of the relationship, he didn't work … [Read more...]
My Son’s Father Has a Troubled Past and Bad Boy Qualities; Should I Run or Stay?
Dear Dr. Buckingham, I am 26 years young and I have been dating my son's father for about 3.5 years on and off due to infidelity and incarceration. I know it sounds bad, but he has had a rough, hardcore life and I'm very empathetic to his past. He will be 30 in a few days, and is currently incarcerated. Our son is 2 years old and loves his dad very much. He has 2 other … [Read more...]