“Happy Wife, Happy Life!”

Last week, the post 5 Reasons Your Man Is Tired of You and You Don’t Even Realize It ran on BMWK and began with those words; but it doesn’t address the heart of what those words really mean.

“Happy Wife, Happy Life” does not mean that a wife’s needs always take precedence over her husband’s. The saying means that a woman who is happy and fulfilled at home will bend over backwards to keep her man happy.

The flipside: If she’s unhappy, life at home probably is too. What this means for you tired husbands is that if you’re tired of her, chances are, it’s because she’s tired of you.

What I’m saying, Brothas, is that if you’re tired, it could be your own fault.

Yep. I said it. But before you get defensive and check out, see if you might be guilty of any of the five possible reasons why.  However, to borrow a few words from my fellow BMWK contributor, “if it doesn’t apply to you then great; but if it does, open up the lines of communication with your woman and improve it!”

You ignore her

So you’re tired of your wife’s nagging? Well, what is it that she’s asking you to do that she keeps having to say over and over again? If the request has to be made two, three…one hundred times until it gets to the point of nagging, obviously the need was never met to begin with.

Maybe you don’t like her delivery, but if you were listening to her at the outset, she wouldn’t be saying it enough for you to get annoyed. Trying to use the “just ignore it and it will go away” method with your wife Will. Not. Work. Listen to what she’s asking for. Try to address it, and both of your lives will be better because of it.

You’re lazy in the bedroom!

As women we hear it all the time: you need to be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. We need to learn all of the tricks of the trade to please our men in bed, because if we aren’t bringing it like a  sex professional, he might catch a wandering eye for some loose woman down the street.

If you want your wife wearing lingerie and sliding down poles, you cannot show up with no romance and holey underwear.

Women like good sex too, and if your idea of pleasing her is rolling over on your back and saying “it’s time,” she’s probably tired of you.

You’ve stopped dating her

You don’t take her out and when you do go out it’s her idea and she does all the planning.  Your wife knows that she’s yours, but for A woman, part of feeling desirable means feeling like you’re still worthy of a little pursuit and romance.

Every day doesn’t need to be flowers and candy, but not putting in any of the effort to show appreciation for her that you did when you were pursuing her is a problem that she’s probably tired of.

You don’t make her a priority

It’s easy to say that your wife is number one, but it means nothing if what you’re doing with your time doesn’t support that. Be honest with yourself and look at where you spend most of your time and your energy. Do you really think about her first, or is she far down on a long list after your boys, your hobbies, work and football?

If you’re making a whole lot of time for everything else, then she’s probably tired of working with your tired, leftover energy. Doing everything that you feel like doing before you consider her is selfish and doesn’t have a place in a good marriage. If you want to keep her happy, stop making spending time with her feel like an afterthought.

You don’t help around the house!

These days, most women are going to work just like men.

I can only speak for myself when I say that nothing…nothing can kill a happy wife moment like coming home to a sink full of dishes that I need to wash.

When a husband has the expectation that his wife is supposed to work all week, then come home and be a personal maid and chef – this is beyond unrealistic.

I hear men complaining about their wives being too tired for them, while ignoring all of the work that she’s putting in as they relax on the couch after work.  Managing a home takes a lot of work, and if you aren’t stepping up to help balance out that load, she’s bound to resent the extra weight that she’s pulling.

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The success of any marriage takes both people to work, but the reality is that the only one you can control in the marriage is you. If you are tired in your marriage, you probably aren’t tired alone. Check yourself first and find out what you might be doing to contribute to your own unhappiness so that you can have your happy wife, happy life.

BMWK Family get involved in the conversation: What are some things that your mate may be doing that bothers you yet they aren’t even aware of it?