Being a mother is also about being the first woman your child looks up to and tries to emulate. I thought about the power a mother has over her children, then in a flash I thought about a mother not activating that power or worst, allowing the media to dictate what it means to be beautiful. While enjoying a breakfast date with one of my Butterflies, I was hit with the best line ever:

I promote positive examples of beauty for my daughters, their hair is beautiful and I show and tell them this everyday. They see me wearing my natural hair and they say “I want my hair like Mommy’s, because she is beautiful”.

As my friend and I talked about the influence she had over her two very beautiful daughters, the question of “Who defines beauty to a child?”, continued to play in my mind. A child seeing their mother wearing weaves, fake eyelashes, nails, and layers of make-up, ends up being their idea of beauty. This same look is perpetuated in the media, on magazines right by the candy in the grocery store; then it happens, these images become confirmation of what a beauty is in a child’s eyes.

When a young girl is growing up, one of the very first people she is trying to emulate is her mother. She wants to walk in her high heels, play in her makeup, wear her wigs or place a shirt on her head trying to get the image of long hair she sees her wearing. Isn’t that crazy? To think you, as a mother are the person responsible for how your daughter sees herself, as either beautiful or not? As scary as it sounds, my question to all mothers raising daughters is, “Are you being the example of beauty that will help or harm your child’s self-esteem?”.

This idea isn’t reserved for only your daughters. How your sons grow up seeing you will become their idea of what beauty is or isn’t. The man who despises weaves possibly grew up with a mother who was serious about wearing weaves as opposed to rocking her natural hair. Looking back over how you maintain your own ideas of beauty will help how your son and daughter view it for themselves.

Are you fostering a positive image of self-esteem for your children? Are you encouraging them to see themselves as beautiful, without the need of anything that must be applied? Telling your children they are beautiful and them seeing themselves in you is the best way to counter low self-esteem. Some may consider hair, weaves, lashes, and make-up as things they put on when they want to have a good time and or “look cute”. But who are you without it? More importantly, who is your child without it? Children observe mom excited and in a good mood after she gets a new weave, nails done, eyelashes perfectly placed, and her face beat to the god’s. They see you happy and in this moment beauty is born, but who is mom without these things she applies? And is mom beautiful without them?

Think about the images you portray in your home consciously and subconsciously, they could be the reason why your daughter doesn’t believe she’s beautiful and your son is only able to accept women that look a certain way. Tell your children they are beautiful before the world tells them they are not.

BMWK, Do you think how your children see you will affect the way they see themselves?