On January 1, 2012, we went to church expecting to hear the pastor provide the new direction for the church i.e. “this year will be the year of _________.” However to our surprise, the pastor did not deliver the message we expected. The pastor said we are not setting a new direction this year. Instead, we are going to re-new our covenant with God. We are constantly making promises that we do not meet, we continue to spend money that we don’t have, we continue to fornicate, we continue to have negative attitudes and foul mouths and the list goes on. We are not exactly being an example of God’s image in our behaviors and attitudes in the Christian community. So this year we are not moving on, we prayed and came into an agreement as a congregation to re-new our covenant with God…to finish what we started.

As I sat there, I thought that this could also apply to our marriages. When we got married, we entered into a covenant with our spouse and God. If you used the traditional wedding vows in your wedding, then I am sure that you took an oath before God, your family and friends to love, honor, respect, and cherish each other through good times and the bad times, for richer, for poorer, and in sickness and in health. So if you are not exactly being loving and respectful to each other, and if you are turning on each other with every bump in the road, now is as good a time as any to re-new your covenant. Here are some ways this can be accomplished in 2012:

• Finish what you started you in 2012. Identify areas in your marriage where you are not meeting your vows and make a commitment to work on them in 2012.
• Be intentional about making your marriage work in 2012. I am sure that when you first got married you had every intention of loving and respecting each other. But each disappointment is like a brick, and you are now building a wall of resentment between you and your spouse. The only way to ensure that you continue to have a loving and respectful relationship with your spouse is to actively work on it. You can’t let your relationship run on auto-pilot. You need to be purposeful about ensuring that each other’s needs are met.
• Make a commitment to add tools to your marriage toolbox in 2012. When problems do arise, are you sure you are handling them properly. Attending marriage education workshops, reading books, attending marriage ministries, and finding couples that can mentor you are all ways to strengthen the foundation of your marriage and equip you with the tools to handle adversities in your marriage. In addition to reading several books, we make a commitment to attend a marriage conference or retreat every year and also participate in marriage ministries.
• Eliminate Temptations in 2012. Only you know what your temptations or weaknesses are: alcohol, pornography”...shopping. You can’t afford to play around with your temptations, in hopes that you are strong enough to withstand them. Completely remove them from your life. For example, if you know you have problems with your finances, then stay out of the mall/stores.
• Separate from people that are not in agreement with your covenant in 2012. There are people, friends and even family members that are not necessarily friends of your marriage. You need to eliminate the negative influences that they have on your marriage. While in some cases you may not want to completely disassociate with your family, there is nothing wrong with limiting your exposure to them. Also establish boundaries with your family and friends. Let them know that disrespect of your marriage and spouse will not be tolerated.

BMWK Family ““ we did not make new resolutions when we came to our marriage this year. Every day we continue to do everything in our power to honor the promises that we made to each other on our wedding day.