A black woman’s attitude – most of us have heard the negative talk about a black woman’s attitude. She is thought to be aggressive, combative, and hard to get along with. The finger will point and the neck will roll if you step to her. There are some black women who fit this description. There are also many who do not.

Women of every color have an attitude, whether good or bad. An attitude is developed through life experience. It is the position or disposition taken in any given situation. A woman may have a good attitude overall, but mess with her kids and watch things change.

Now the question here, “Is a black woman’s attitude affecting her marriage?” The answer – of course it is. The affect will be positive or negative. It is our choice. Though many times we don’t make the choice, we just let things happen. When we let things just happen emotions quickly take over and a foul attitude prevails. Have you been guilty of this? I know I have.

Years and year ago, in my marriage there was a situation that just ticked me off. My attitude was tore up. Was it affecting my marriage? YES – and not in a good way.

When I realized what was going on, I had to ask myself what was up with ME. I grasped that I felt untrusted, dictated to, belittled and controlled in this situation, and I was wounded. Understanding why I had such a bad attitude in this area, I was responsible to do something about it.

Here is what I did:

• Searched myself to see where these feelings came from. What in my past set me up for this trigger?
• Solved that self-issue by releasing the negative seeds mama, daddy, or anybody else had planted in this area.
• Created a positive outlook on how this thing was going to go in the future.
• Responded differently in this situation by lining my emotional thoughts up with the outcome I desired.
• Shared with my husband why this situation set me off. He deserved to know.
• Watched things change for me and my marriage.

The only place a poor attitude is celebrated is on TV because it’s making somebody money. That’s not real life. Don’t fall into the stereotype put on black women. You are uniquely you.

It’s a conscientious decision to keep your attitude on the positive side. Yes, a black woman’s attitude affects her marriage and so it is with any other color woman. As black women we are more powerful than a stereotype.

I’m not telling you to do exactly what I did, however, I am saying do something. Refuse to be pegged into the “black woman’s attitude” hole, do it for yourself and your marriage.

BMWK, Have you ever found yourself flying off the handle before you knew it or been pegged into this stereotype? How did you handle it?